The Incarceration of John

Trapped in a System Without Hope

2011-08-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

Irish Examiner
Friday, August 05, 2011

Grainne Humphrys has spent years fighting a mental health system that she claims is doing her former partner more harm that good

JOHN HUNT turned 30 recently, but spent his birthday — like the previous five — locked up in a psychiatric unit in Cork city.

A physically healthy man when he first went into the mental health system, he is now a shell of his former self due to the quantities and varieties of medication he has been prescribed over the years in an attempt to make him better. His teeth and gums are rotten, he gets the shakes, he is at times incontinent and his passion for life appears to be gone.

The story of John’s "incarceration" is a complex and heartbreaking one, and one to which there are no easy answers. But what is clear is that the medical model of treatment alone is no longer acceptable for cases like John — and for a modern mental health service.

Gráinne Humphrys, John’s former partner and the mother of his son Joshua, has also felt locked into this situation for almost six long years.

Campaigning tirelessly and employing powerful language to describe the "chemical restraints" used to control a non-compliant patient — as John is at times — she has garnered much attention for his case by conjuring up images of a lost soul imprisoned against his will.

Broken from the years of campaigning, battling and heartache, Gráinne recently reached her brick wall and, after much consideration, ended her relationship with John.

"The situation was making me unwell and holding me back," she said. "I had two opponents: the system and John. I need to focus more on our son Joshua and myself. It took me a long time and it was very painful, because I really did love him and still do. He is the father of my son and I will always advocate for him, but not at the same level.

"We had a telephone relationship for five years and he still rings. He is quite lonely at times."

The reality is far more stark, and far less simple. This is a man locked up 24/7 in a psychiatric institution because there is nowhere else to try and rehabilitate him.

He lives on a ward in Carraig Mór, a standalone unit on the outskirts of Cork city which was opened to facilitate patients who were moved out of the Victorian Our Lady’s Hospital. John’s home, the ward, is part of the Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit (PICU).

His family must visit him in a tiny room and are not allowed past the locked doors.

In its most recent inspection report about Carraig Mór, the Mental Health Commission said it was "obvious" that residents were remaining for too long in the PICU due to the lack of a step-down unit and adequate rehabilitation.

"This was despite [the] best efforts of staff to provide rehabilitation," the report says, adding that "the decision by the Health Service Executive not to have a psychologist on a forensic team and in a PICU where behavioural problems are common is incomprehensible and short-sighted and was not in keeping with best practice".

Gráinne firmly believes John is a victim of this "short-sightedness" and an old-school model of care.

"There are new ways of working with people, but it has not reached John yet. I know it will come in time, but for him, it might be too late. I wish he had had a different response to his distress than just to lock him up and force-medicate him. I feel John has become chronic, because of the response he got. I know he was pretty bad and, at one point, he was deemed a danger to himself, but that was a just a cry for help, but the problem is, once you are labelled, you are dogged by prejudice," she said.

"The way I see it, trauma and loss, amongst other factors, form the bedrock of John’s problems — his so-called attachment disorder and paranoid schizophrenia."

Gráinne believes the truth is more complex than the labels.

"Basically, he grew up with an alcoholic, violent father, and mother with little supports. His four-year-old brother drowned when he was 11 and, like many other troubled young men with low self-esteem, he ended up taking drugs and fighting. And as is classic with these things, the break-up with his first long-term girlfriend sent him over the edge.

"His experience of psychosis did not come out of the blue, there are deep-seated and very painful issues which have never been dealt with."

John’s journey into the abyss has meant five-and-a-half years detention in Carraig Mór. Only his doctors have the power to release him but, as he is not getting any better, this has not happened.

In a last-ditch attempt to get him out of this rut, Gráinne wrote to Carraig Mór at the start of the year stating: "I am unhappy that John has spent five years in Carraig Mór, but I know it is a complex situation. I do take on board that your lack of a step-down hostel and a psychologist greatly impacts on your ability to rehabilitate John. So I shall narrow my complaints down to more specific bullet points:

* "I am upset that John has been over-medicated for such a long time. I am worried about his internal organs, in particular his kidneys. I am also worried that he will develop diabetes and other well-known adverse effects from long-term drug treatment.

* I am upset about his teeth becoming rotten due to the continuous use of liquid largactil. I know his insistence of smoking endless cigarettes and drinking Coca-Cola and refusing to clean his teeth contributes to this too and I understand that this is John’s issue.

* I am upset that I had to go to the lengths I did of creating a campaign which involved media and politics in order to get a day out with John. That fight took so much out of me, and me and my children suffered as a result.

* I am upset that we have not been permitted any overnights for years. As a family, we have lost so much in terms of intimacy and time together. Joshua has missed out on a father and we have conducted most of our family relationship in a locked visitor’s room, which has been devastating."

Gráinne also wrote about her disappointment over the lack of feedback to a proposed solution.

Brian Hartnett, a well-known campaigner and founder of Hearing Voices Ireland (HVI), a group which provides support to people who hear voices, also wrote to Carraig Mór offering to work with John on a one-to-one basis and mentor him.

This was an attempt to prevent him from becoming further institutionalised and to look at his problems in a unique way.

Mr Hartnett’s proposal, however, was rejected and with that went Gráinne’s last hope.

She now feels it is almost too late for John. He has become entrenched in the system, the drugs, and a life of not having to face up to the deep pain that caused his problems in the first place.

"Yes, we need to hold someone in a safe space but that person needs to be guided through to the next step and shown they can cope on their own and take responsibility," she said. "Even if you opened the door for John tomorrow, he would be too afraid to walk out. And that’s the tragedy for us, for me and for our son and for John’s family. We feel we have had no say in what happens to John. The problem now is that he is totally institutionalised. He is entrenched."

Gráinne feels those who work within the system are entrenched too. "I know some of them are on the same page as me but their hands are tied too.

"It’s higher up that is the problem — the mental health law and the lack of resources."

Gráinne maintains emotional distress should not be defined as a mental disorder as this is an injustice to those experiencing it.

"If we view the individual in crisis and fail to see them in context of their situation we are failing them. We blame them for having problems but those problems have to come from somewhere."

There is another side to John’s story. And that is from the point of those who look after him in Carraig Mór. They know him as a difficult patient who can lash out for no reason. Incidents have caused staff to be out of work following his outbursts. There is a view that John does nothing to help himself and is uncooperative. This behaviour, of course, only serves to reinforce how the system views John — as someone who needs to be sedated and locked up.

But there are serious questions as to whether the system further damaged John, and others like him, who are on medication long-term, with little in the way of counselling or psychological interventions.

Mental health campaigner John McCarthy asks if it’s okay to lock someone up for five years and contain them on a cocktail of powerful drugs?

"John Hunt is 30 he has been locked up and force-treated ‘in his best interest’ for the past five and more years. I do believe if I was locked away at 24, without trial before judge or jury, from my family and friends, I would lash out at everybody around me.

"Imagine if you had never been allowed to run and play with your own son. Not been allowed to love the woman you loved — I would lash out. Not allowed to go for a pint. I would lash out. Not allowed to sing. Not allowed to live life. I would lash out. No matter how often they told me ‘it is in my best interest’.

"Who knows the real reason that John Hunt has for getting angry and is lashing out? Why he is so restless and discontented in his spirit? He is not a criminal, yet he is locked up.

"His family are tired and at their wits end. Those on the staff in Carraig Mór have no real answer. They can continue to pile on the medication, sedate him, control him, but they cannot cure him, they cannot bring peace to this man’s spirit," he said.

And sadly, although John’s story is extreme, its components are not unique.

Another similar case is that of 40-year-old Morgan Pritchard.

Mr Pritchard was detained at the Lakeview Unit at Naas General Hospital in May, after going through a heroin withdrawal.

He has since been diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, which his family are disputing.

His sister, Sarah Duffin, who is campaigning to have her brother moved, maintains his condition appeared to deteriorate after being put on anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medication.

"There has been a change in Morgan’s behaviour and worsening of his symptoms since being put on these new drugs. There are many informed studies on this medication and it has very dangerous side effects, particularly when given in high doses and in conjunction with an anti-depressant," Ms Duffin said.

"We have nothing against Lakeview or any of the staff. But we do not agree with Morgan’s treatment and want him to be assessed by someone else.

Sarah says it is "astonishing" that Morgan’s family have no say in how he is treated.

"We have to speak out for Morgan and highlight these issues — what about all those who don’t have family to intervene or can’t speak for themselves because they are so drugged up on medication?"

For families like these, the system is not working. If they cannot get Morgan out of Lakeside soon, are Sarah and her family facing into a battle like Gráinne’s?

"I have gotten to know the nature of the beast and I see how complex it is," Gráinne says.

"But the system has worn me down and I feel very hopeless about his situation. I would hope to one day see John living in the community and that he will come to a place where he can slowly get off his medications..

"At the moment he is frozen, blocked and stuck and I can’t see that changing any time soon. I just hope I am proven wrong."

This appeared in the printed version of the Irish Examiner Friday, August 05, 2011

Read more: http://www.examiner.ie/ireland/trapped-in-a-system-without-hope-163301.html#ixzz1US4Gh3nk

Guan Yin Prayer for John

2011-08-01T02:29:00.000-07:00

"More than I could stand... "

2011-08-01T00:12:00.000-07:00

I am devastated by the death of Amy Winehouse. Amy's album 'Back to Black' has been a source of great comfort to me over the last few years in the unusual situation I found myself in with an incarcerated partner. Of course, Amy knew this terrain well.

Her music reminded me of the fragile yet fierce nature of love. Amy was not afraid to stand by her man and fight for her man, just as I had, through thick and thin; through drugs, infidelities, incarceration and assault charges. She gave me great strength and reminded me that the very love that had reawakened us could also destroy us and the part we played in that too. Great love was more than we could stand. When it comes to soulmates, the tragedy seems to be, you can't live with them and you can't live without them.

John introduced me to Amy's music with her album 'Frank' and with her death, it feels like the end of an era. 'Back to Black' was our album, the soundtrack to our passionate but damaged relationship that struggled to survive "over futile odds". Above all, Amy knew the loneliness of loving a man that your family and friends relentlessly dissuade you from loving. Feeling this prejudice, dissaproval and bad will was a painful and lonely place that I knew too. I've lost my gutsy and loyal soul sister.

Mad Pride - The power of Love

2011-06-11T03:21:00.000-07:00

Kila at Mad Pride Day in Cork, June 2011. Celebrate Difference, Stop Loneliness.

http://youtu.be/IZ2nppLjrm4

The Love That Will Not Die

2011-05-22T04:20:00.000-07:00

'Spiritual awakening is frequently described as a journey to the top of a mountain. We leave our attachments and our worldliness behind and slowly make our way to the top. At the peak we have transcended all pain. The only problem with this metaphor is that we leave all the others behind - our drunken brother, our schizophrenic sister, our tormented animals and friends. Their suffering continues, unrelieved by our personal escape.

In the process of discovering bodhichitta, the journey goes down, not up. It's as if the mountain pointed toward the centre of the earth instead of reaching into the sky. Instead of transcending the suffering of all creatures, we move toward the turbulence and doubt. We jump into it. We slide into it. We tiptoe into it. We move toward it however we can. We explore the reality and unpredictability of insecurity and pain, and we try not to push it away. If it takes years, if it takes lifetimes, we let it be as it is. At our own pace, without speed or aggression, we move down and down and down. With us we move millions of others, our companions in awakening from fear. At the bottom we discover water, the healing water of bodhichitta. Right down there in the thick of things, we discover the love that will not die.' - PEMA CHODRON

I opened the book at the very chapter I needed to read last night. This is why my love for John has been so challenging and so challenged. He remains one of the greatest teachers in my life. This is why he will always be the unforgettable fire in my life;

Stop The Train!

2011-04-03T11:20:00.001-07:00

Alchemy on the Wards

2011-03-13T01:09:00.001-08:00

Lyrics: Gráinne Humphrys
Music: Mary Maddock
Vocals: Geraldine Byrne Harmony Mary Maddock
Backing: Kevin Foley: guitar; Mary Maddock: piano.

There’s alchemy on the wards
There’s a revolution in my soul
There’s a wolf in my doorway
And sand between my toes
And sand between my toes

Chorus
We’re meeting at the frontline
Do we have to go to war?
All we want is change, a new way
All we want is love, not force

There’s a lover in my heart
And children at my feet
There’s a mad woman in every woman
And we’re taking to the streets
And we’re taking to the streets

We’re singing in the corridors
We’re hearing nature’s call
There’s a goddess in high office
Tearing down the walls
Tearing down the walls

She’s caught up in red tape
And she’s cutting through it fast
We’re dancing in the changes
And climbing up the mast
And climbing up the mast

We’re drawing a new map
From disorder to distress
Survivor to thriver
A language to undress
A language to undress

We’re throwing out the labels
We’ll throw away the keys
Chemicals, arrogant white coats
No more authorities
No more authorities

We’ll create a paradigm
Of heart-led evolution
We’ll dance in step, sing in rhyme
Our love revolution
Our love revolution

All we want is freedom
So we’re taking to the streets
Our last great mad movement
For civil liberties
For civil liberties

My Letter of Complaint to Carraig Mór

2011-03-13T01:02:00.000-08:00

Carraig Mór are reviewing their current practice and writing to families and carers asking for their feedback which is something that just wouldn't have happened before. Please understand that I am adopting a non-violent and non-aggressive approach. I have much more rage and loss going on than is evident in this letter but I have learnt over the years that an aggressive approach makes them shut down and be less likely to listen to me. I have also used their medical jargon even though I don't use it myself. When in Rome do as the Romans and all that jazz...

If anyone else would like to write a letter of complaint or concern, the address and name of consultant is;
Dr. Martin Lawlor (or Psychiatric Team)
Re: John Hunt
Carraig Mor Centre
Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit and Assertive Care Service
Shanakiel
Lee Road
CORK
IRELAND

Re: John Hunt

Dear Team,

Thank you for the information booklet for patients. And thank you for giving me the opportunity to be included and to voice my opinions. Sorry I haven’t replied sooner but life has been as busy as ever.

As I’m sure you’re well aware I’ve been very public about my unhappiness with John Hunt’s treatment for his trauma issues and symptoms; his attachment disorder and his experiences of paranoid schizophrenia (and/ or drug-induced psychosis). I do however understand that places like Carraig Mór have to step in to protect the distressed individual when they and their families can no longer cope.

I am unhappy that John has spent five years in Carraig Mór but I know it is a complex situation. I do take on board that your lack of a step-down hostel and a psychologist greatly impacts on your ability to rehabilitate John. So I shall narrow my complaints down to more specific bullet points;

I am upset that John has been over-medicated for such a long time. I am worried about his internal organs, in particular his kidneys. I am also worried that he will develop diabetes, tardive dyskinesia and other well-known adverse effects from long-term drug treatment.

I am upset about his teeth becoming rotten due to the continuous use of liquid largactil. I know his insistence of smoking endless cigarettes and drinking coca-cola and refusing to clean his teeth contributes to this too and I understand that this is John’s issue.

I am upset that I had to go to the lengths I did of creating a campaign which involved media and politics in order to get a day out with John. That fight took so much out of me and me and my children suffered as a result.

I am upset that we have not been permitted any overnights for years. As a family we have lost so much in terms of intimacy and time together. Joshua has missed out on a father and we have conducted most of our family relationship in a locked visitor’s room which has been devastating.

I am upset that you have not given Brian Hartnett more feedback about his proposal to take John out as a peer-advocate.

I do see the big picture and I do appreciate that you are working within an institutional setting but my honest opinion is this; we are in a Catch 22 situation with John. He cannot get well in the environment he is currently in and he cannot get out until he is well. I’m not sure he will ever gain insight or grow much in the institutional setting/ environment because in many ways, life is too easy for him in there. He has become dependent. He is forgetting how to be in public. He is not being challenged enough. He can’t express his anger (a normal human emotion which I would have heaps of in his situation) without sedation.

My fear is that he will become more institutionalized if he does not have a change in his treatment plan soon. He needs to be weaned off institutional life gradually and be reintegrated out into the community with supports in place or he will be lost to his family forever.

The Free John petition has now gathered over 1,000 signatures which asks for his release with supports. I know that this is where the yawning gap in the services lies and that John is a victim of this gap.

Apart from all these complaints, I think you are lovely people and I hope you don’t take any of this personally. You are professional at all times with me, even when I am expressing my frustration, hurt and anger at the treatment of John. I am particularly fond of Eileen Nelligan who is very understanding about delicate matters and a very kind woman. The staff on the wards are very kind and helpful on the phone too. I know John has built up important connections in Carraig Mór with some of the staff. I do understand that all of you are just one small part of a larger and, to my mind, a de-humanising system.

Even if you opened the door for John tomorrow, he would be too afraid to walk out. And that’s the tragedy for us, for me and for our son and for John’s family.

We feel we have had no say in what happens to John.

Yours sincerely, Gráinne Humphrys

The Charlatans - You Cross My Path

2011-02-15T05:40:00.000-08:00

Excellent but sinister song, excellent lyrics, excellent video, excellent band... this video could be called 'The Trauma Survivor and the Sword of Truth' It really explores the victim/ perpetrator dynamic, abused/ abuser, systemic lens, resulting madness and eventual empowerment in facing the truth, shedding light on darkness. I used this soundtrack on 'The Myth of Schizophrenia' video I made.

Finally, we hit 1,000 signatures on John's petition!

2011-02-10T09:41:00.000-08:00

1,000 people want to see John free with good supports in place. I will mention the Free John petition in my interview. The petition was created last Summer. Thank you to everyone who signed John's petition so far. It was an act of faith, love and hope.

Songs from the Locked Ward

2011-02-09T14:29:00.000-08:00

Daniel Mackler's classic anti-psychiatry/ anti-medication song 'Bullshit'

Moby - Natural Blues

2011-02-07T12:01:00.000-08:00

One of John's old faves...

We are all working towards a new dawn for you, John...

2011-02-01T08:52:00.001-08:00

Chemical Crucifixion

2011-01-21T07:31:00.000-08:00

by Christine Allen, 13th Jan 2011

The partner of a Cork psychiatric patient “chemically damaged” from medication has welcomed comments this week by Junior Minister for Mental Health John Moloney about the over-sedation of psychiatric patients.

This week, Minister Moloney expressed concerns about a new report finding that psychiatric patients are being sedated because of low staffing levels. He said the staff embargo was partly to blame and he expressed his concern about the long-term consequences of addictive drugs being given to patients.

Minister Moloney has committed to drawing up measures tightening prescription rules regarding drugs such as benzodiazepines.

Grainne Humphrys’ partner John Hunt, from West Cork, is a resident at Carraig Mór Psychiatric Unit in Shanakiel. He is taking a cocktail of two psychotics and psychoactive benzodiazepines, which are used to reduce anxiety.

“He has been on some of the older types of major neuroleptics and some of the newer types of atypical anti-psychotics,” said Grainne.

His partner told the Cork Independent that John is now “chemically damaged”.

“When John entered Carraig Mór treatment centre (five years ago) he was a handsome and fit young man. He was creative, focused and angry. Granted, he was mixed up and had issues, but nothing that couldn’t be worked through with time and love and the right approach,” said Grainne.

Confused

She said he is a different man today.

“He is more confused, weak, drugged, dependent and institutionalised. This is damage, not care.”

Grainne said she has seen John in various states of medication overload.

“I have seen John vomiting countless times, more often than not, and he often feels weak, dizzy and faint,” she explained.

“I have experienced him as if he is in a straitjacket, albeit chemical, so rigid have his composure and facial expressions been. I have seen his hands shaking. I have seen him unable to sit still,” she said.

The campaigner said she has often had to hide her shock at his appearance.

“Most of his teeth have rotted due to the continuous use of Largactil. In the past, he had tardive dyskinesia, an involuntary movement in his jaw. I am terrified it will return if he ever decides to discontinue his medication one day.”

Brain damage

Grainne said the damage might not be visible until the patient’s detox and fears it may have lasting consequences.

“Imagine that, a medication that causes brain damage, because that’s what these powerful drugs do. Just when he stabilizes on a drug, his medications are changed, so he has to withdraw again, which can cause a reactive psychosis or the DTs,” she explained.

John has recently developed incontinence, a problem commonly associated with long-term drug use.

“I worry he will develop diabetes too, also a common health problem associated with long-term use of the psych drugs, as is infertility,” she said.

She expressed her relief following Minister Moloney’s comments and said the issue has troubled her for years.

“I have left Carraig Mór in tears more often than not, unable to comprehend what has happened to John. Unable to comprehend that we allow this to happen to a fellow human being. I can liken what has happened to John as a chemical crucifixion."

Waiting for the Miracle - Leonard Cohen

2011-01-16T09:24:00.000-08:00

Song to the Siren - Sinéad O'Connor

2011-01-15T10:54:00.001-08:00

The Passion of Christ

2011-01-13T17:06:00.000-08:00

This film would have a profound impact on John when he first saw it - he openly cried throughout it, identifying with Christ and His suffering. It touched something very deep in John.

BBC4 - Mental: A History of the Madhouse

2011-01-13T08:42:00.000-08:00

Excellent, well-made but devastating documentary, available here in 4 parts on YouTube. This hidden de-humanising legacy continues today. People think this doesn't go on anymore, but it does. Just look at John's story.

Echobelly - Dark Therapy

2011-01-11T17:28:00.001-08:00

A Date With Dionysus

2011-01-11T16:33:00.000-08:00

The title 'A Date With Dionysus' popped into my head as Dr. Maureen Roberts shed more light on John and his gifts - 'John is a kind of male-female Dionysus figure who attracts those of us who love and celebrate our mad Maenadic wildness - which bioshrinkdom labels as 'crazy'. In the '20s, strong, wild, creative women were witch-hunted as being 'morally insane' - a supposed 'mental illness' that saw many of them locked up.'

I would like to clarify that I am indeed a strong, wild and creative woman and John's energy blew me away.

I am also blown away by Maureen's remarkable insight and knowledge of this terrain. She is an experienced healer and a gifted guide. Definitely a Soul Sister!

I found this guided meditation by NightOwl on the Widdershins website: The Northwest Pagan Choice. This is just an extract.

Dionysus is so beautiful! He appeared as a young man about 25-30, dressed in a loose fitting toga-like white robe. When he looked into my eyes and smiled, it took my breath away and I staggered from the impact of his energy.

"Thank you for coming here and allowing me to see you," was all I could manage to think of to say. I somehow remembered to speak out loud to remind everyone to ask their god if he had a gift or advice for them, and mentally asked the same of Dionysus. He smiled more, and as I approached closer, held out a bottle of wine and a loaf of bread, inviting me to eat and drink with him. I accepted the bread but, with much fear said, "I no longer drink alcohol, will you still accept me?"

He laughed and changed the wine to fruit juice, took a drink and offered it to me. I drank some, and ate some bread, while never taking my eyes away from his. He reached out and began caressing my face, my breasts, and then rubbing and stroking my whole body. Again I was finding it difficult to breath.

I reached out to caress him in return as he began changing from a young, slim muscular man to one who was older, fatter, and whose smile became a friendly leer as he rubbed his aroused body against mine. In the next moment, he transformed to another male, and then another, continuing to fondle me and bathe me in his extraordinary energy and passion.

By this time I was almost panting with arousal myself, while observing his changing form with amazement. My own arousal gave me the courage to talk, and I said, "I really like this, and I am honored by your attention, but I wonder if I am not just making this all up to justify my behavior in life. You know, it's not that I'm a slut, I'm a follower of Dionysus?"

At this he laughed out loud, gently hugged me, and stared so deeply into my eyes that I almost fainted, saying, "You are acting exactly how I wish my priestesses to behave, don't be afraid," and laughed again.

Stepping back away from me, he smiled again and held out a pinkish heart-shaped stone, saying, "Here, take this and always remember that sexual ecstasy helps people open their hearts to each other and to the deeper mysteries of life. Sex is one of the greatest creations. It enables two to join and create a third which carries their energy into the future. Ecstasy and celebration make life worth living because they open humans up to the joyous energy of the universe, of creation. Never be afraid to love, or to express that love with another." Then his form began to slowly fade and disappear.

I turned and walked back around the rock, down the path I had earlier climbed, my mind trying to contain and sort the vastness of what he had shown me. My body was almost in a state of shock from the intensity of his energy. Fortunately I was only walking in my altered state and my body was physically sitting on the floor. I doubt I would have been able to have had this experience standing without falling down. It took a few minutes to return to a more ordinary state of consciousness, but I was able to remember to instruct the others to do so too.

Each of us in the group took a turn in describing what had happened to them, and everyone else had also had an equally powerful experience.

This encounter with the god made me want to know more about him and, I learned that he was Bacchus to the Romans, Lusios the Releaser, and Zagreus - son of Zeus and Persephone who was killed by the Titans and eaten. Athene saved his heart, which was swallowed by Semele, another lover of Zeus, and conceived anew. Hera convinced Semele to trick Zeus into revealing himself in his full glory, which burned Semele to ashes. Zeus rescued Dionysus from her ashes, stitched the unborn babe into his thigh until he was able to be born again, so he is sometimes called twice-born, and Zeus then gave him to the nymphs to raise.

When grown he became the god of all altered states, including drunkenness, religious ecstasy, and celebrations of music, dancing, theater and lustful excess. His male followers were the satyrs, half man and half goat with a horse's tail, and his female followers were the maenads (mad women). His followers often carry a staff with a pine cone on the end, called a thyrsus, sometimes twined with grape or ivy vines.

The experience I had in this ritual meditation has continued to reverberate through my life and I am deeply honored to express the energy of Dionysus into the world.

David Bowie - 'All The Madmen'

2011-01-10T04:11:00.000-08:00

From his album 'The Man Who Sold The World'

Beautiful video montage Brian Hartnett made us with some images I gathered

2011-01-09T03:53:00.000-08:00

Music: 'The Madman' by Al O'Donnell

Dark Night of the Summer

2011-01-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

I wrote this today as I am only processing my experience I had last Summer. It happened after I had taken John out for his first day out in 2 years and the full horror at what had been done to my man, and countless others, hit...

DARK NIGHT OF THE SUMMER

When the full horror hit
It was vast, terrifying, giant
The full weight crushed down on me
It was almost too much to bear, alone
I breathed it in, I wailed it out
Our holocaust

Our son looked on at the
Devastation of my realisation
Silently witnessing what I now faced
I cried tears of agony and alchemy
I howled in the transformation
Steadfast in the dark night of labour

This loss was vast, this grief was
Unfathomable
I struggled to contain it's victims
I was horrified, I could not believe
What I saw with new eyes
This humanity sacrifice
Now I knew the enormity
Of the corporate beast
And our capacity for lies

All that came was
"How did we let this happen?
How did we let this happen?"
There will be no more placating me
I've gone too far in
I have forged a sword
Of Love and Truth
Now I have to do battle

I have faced my guilt, my rage, my hate, my love
All we are capable of
I have been laid bare before our majestic soul
I lay in the alchemical bed, I have slept with my enemies
Within, I have held them all in my heart

In my mind's eye I saw him, time to kill
So we had walked around to the front of the institution
that had been his home for five years
Where syringes, pills and keys reign
Tatty doorways, cigarette butts and rubbish
A bleak wind blew around the red brick building
A wasteland in my soul

"Why are the windows like mirrors?" he asked
I turned away, choking back guilt and pity
"So you can look out but we can't look in" I replied
This mass chemical crucifixion

As he made his way to the half-life of corridors
A wet patch on his jeans where he had pissed himself
From nine years of their chemical lies
"They've got him by the balls", I thought
His dignity intact as he won't back
Down, never submit, it's hopeless
I knew the psychiatric spell was being cast
The power play was set

He opened the door to that dark twilight zone
As I made my painful journey home

Dark Night of the Soul

2011-01-06T09:51:00.001-08:00

Soul Friends

2011-01-06T09:05:00.001-08:00

I Believe In You

2011-01-05T16:22:00.000-08:00

Let The Voices Speak

2011-01-04T15:18:00.001-08:00

Abandoned and Drugged

2011-01-04T12:57:00.000-08:00

by Gráinne Humphrys

Abandoned to the long-stay ward in the secure unit, John Hunt has spent 5 years on various neuroleptics and benzodiazepines, drugs that are used to control behaviour. These drugs have caused untold damage to John. In the words of Dr. Maureen B. Roberts 'this is social control masquerading as medicine'. John is a victim of the 'yawning gap' in the mental health services. How do we allow this to happen? A society that can no longer be outraged by John's 'treatment' can no longer be civilised.

Are drugs replacing care in our mental health facilities?

2011-01-04T12:46:00.000-08:00

By Carl O'Brien
ANALYSIS
Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Evidence is growing that too many patients are being given sedatives instead of the kind therapeutic support they need.

BRIDIE COX knows all about the dangers of inappropriately prescribing sedatives to vulnerable patients. After working in the disability and mental health sector in the UK for 30 years, she returned home to work in the midwest several years ago. She was shocked at what she saw, writes CARL O'BRIEN

Cox says she witnessed on several occasions the over-sedation of patients with challenging behaviour. Rehabilitation of residents was virtually non-existent, she said, as there was no meaningful therapeutic intervention.

Worse still was the attitude of senior management. While there was some good care, the main problem she said was a culture which did not place sufficient value on proper rehabilitation and multi-disciplinary care.

“As I saw it, people didn’t have the education or training to do the therapeutic intervention. There wasn’t enough focus on empowering people, helping them becoming more independent, building up therapeutic relationships,” she told this newspaper last year.

The latest findings of the inspector for Mental Health Services appear to provide grounds for even deeper concern.

For the first time, it has been collecting detailed information on prescriptions for in-patients and residents. Of the 22 hospitals or care facilities it has visited to far, it has expressed concern over the level of sedative use in half of them.

In some hospitals as many as 80 per cent of long-term residents were on sedatives – or benzodiazepines – prompting inspectors to call for an “urgent review” of the drugs use. In addition, many patients were often placed on a combination of sedatives and anti-psychotic medication; night sedation was also particularly common in some hospitals.

Benzodiazepines are prescription drugs which are legitimately used to treat a range of conditions such as anxiety, insomnia and seizures. While they are considered safe for short-term use, the risk of overuse, abuse and dependence is well documented.

In addition, over-reliance on this kind of medication often reflects a lack of access to valuable therapeutic interventions. These alternatives to drugs are highly effective in tackling underlying causes of anxiety or challenging behaviour.

Mental health inspectors have so far published reports for about one-third of psychiatric in-patient facilities, but already a pattern of high sedative use is clear.

St Joseph’s Hospital in Limerick is one of the psychiatric facilities visited recently by inspectors. They found that some 80 per cent of residents at the 55-bed hospital had a prescription for a benzodiazepine, while over half were using them on a regular basis, which prompted inspectors to recommend an “urgent review” of all medication at the hospital.

Over at An Coillin, Co Mayo, a 29-bed unit, inspectors said a review of the prescription of benzodiazepines should take place; it found 78 per cent of people on them; 33 per cent on more than one.

At St Edmundsbury Hospital, Co Dublin, – a private facility – inspectors found high numbers of people on night sedation (82 per cent), as well as on benzodiazepines (73 per cent).

Inspectors said these figures were “very high” and noted that medication sheets were of poor quality.

It is of little surprise that many of these facilities also have gaps in multi-disciplinary teams – the people who could provide the kind of therapeutic intervention that is so badly needed. For example, inspectors found benzodiazepine use at St Camillus’s Hospital in Limerick was high and called for a review. They also found that there was a lack of meaningful disciplinary care to underpin the “recovery ethos”, which is at the cornerstone of public policy on mental health care.

“Residents had very little to occupy themselves with during the day . . . ” the report found. “The service was introducing individual multi-disciplinary care plans to the wards but without them and an occupational therapist, therapeutic services and programmes could not be individually directed to the needs of the residents.”

Most observers agree that the answer to an over-reliance on medication lies in training and investment in mental health services.

A Vision for Change clearly sets out what needs to be done to achieve mental health reform. It envisages a national network of comprehensive, community-based, multi-disciplinary mental health teams. The voice of service users would no longer be ignored and quality alternatives to institutional care would be made available. Yet, almost five years on we are still waiting for meaningful signs of progress.

In three successive reports, an independent monitoring group – established to assess progress on the implementation of A Vision for Change – has expressed serious concern at the slow progress of the plan.

Spending on mental health has fallen from 11 per cent of overall health spending in 1991 to 5.3 per cent in 2010. The moratorium on recruitment has had a devastating impact, with at least hundreds of staff leaving the sector without being replaced.

The more time passes without convincing evidence of its implementation, the more disillusioned and disenchanted the champions of A Vision for Change become. The challenge for policymakers and campaigners will be to transplant the philosophy at the heart of Government policy into meaningful action in the day-to-day running of services.

We need a plan with real and detailed targets, time-lines, resources and assigned responsibility. People with mental health problems have waited far too long for a service which respects their dignity and rights. The least they deserve is a service which gives them the best possible opportunity to recover and to reach their full potential.

Inspectors seek review of high use of sedatives in mental units

2011-01-04T12:40:00.000-08:00

Concern at overuse of drugs by long-term patients

By Carl O'Brien
Chief Reporter
Tuesday, January 4, 2011

MENTAL HEALTH inspectors have expressed concern over the high use of sedatives in psychiatric hospitals and have called for an “urgent review” of drug use in some facilities.

The inspector of Mental Health Services has found in some hospitals that as many as 80 per cent of long-term patients were being prescribed sedatives, also known as benzodiazepines.

Benzodiazepines are prescription drugs used to treat a range of conditions such as anxiety, insomnia and seizures. While they are considered safe for short-term use, the risk of overuse, abuse and dependence has been well documented.

Mental health campaigners also claim the drugs are being used to control the behaviour of vulnerable patients in the absence of access to activities, stimulation or therapeutic intervention.

Inspectors have been collecting detailed information on drug prescription patterns in mental health facilities for the first time. So far they have published reports for one-third of all mental health facilities inspected during 2010.

Of the 22 hospitals or care facilities visited, inspectors expressed concern over sedative use or called for an audit of drug-use in half of them.

Former inspector of mental hospitals Dr Dermot Walsh yesterday said he had long-standing concerns regarding the over-use of these drugs.

“The therapeutic misuse of benzodiazepines in medicine generally is a problem. These drugs are successful for short-term control of anxiety and so on, but should not be used in the medium or long term,” he said.

There are good practice guidelines – issued in 2002 by the Department of Health – but the inspector’s findings raise question marks as to whether they are being adequately implemented.

They state that the need for long-term prescribing should be reviewed regularly. It says “the only clinical justification for continuing use is dependence. Planned withdrawal from patients dependant on benzodiazepines should be considered”.

They also state that “attempts should be made to improve levels of mental stimulation and physical activity on long-stay wards”.

The inspectors’ reports so far show that benzodiazepines and night-time sedation is particularly high across a number of hospitals.

At St Joseph’s Hospital in Limerick, inspectors found 80 per cent of residents had a prescription for a benzodiazepine, many of whom were elderly. Over half were using them on a regular basis, prompting inspectors to recommend an “urgent review” of all drug use.

At An Coillin in Co Mayo, a 29-bed unit, inspectors found 78 per cent of patients on benzodiazepines, while 33 per cent were on more than one.

At St Edmundsbury Hospital, Co Dublin – a private facility – inspectors found high numbers of people on night sedation (82 per cent), as well as on benzodiazepines (73 per cent). Inspectors said these figures were “very high” and noted that medication sheets were of poor quality.

A previous report by the Mental Health Commission in 2009 raised concerns that patients at two psychiatric hospitals in Clonmel, Co Tipperary, were being inappropriately administered sedatives to control their behaviour.

It found a majority of residents at St Michael’s Unit, South Tipperary General Hospital, and St Luke’s Hospital, both in Clonmel, were receiving benzodiazepines on a long-term basis. This, inspectors said, appeared to be the result of a lack of activities and alternative treatment options.

These concerns have since been addressed by the Health Service Executive and no issues have arisen in more recent inspection reports.

John Saunders, director of the Shine support group for people affected by mental ill-health, said the high rate of benzodiazepine use tended to reflect under-staffing.

“Where you don’t have adequate staff, you have this kind of medication, but where there is sufficient staffing, adequate activities, there is far less reliance on medication.”

The Mental Health Commission has declined to comment until it has published all of its inspection reports.

I'll Stand by You

2011-01-04T07:05:00.000-08:00

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

The Alchemical Fire

2010-12-21T04:13:00.000-08:00

"For it is through bathing in the gentle alchemical fire in which the agony of passion is gradually transmuted to the gold of 'com-passion', that the Wounded Healer is most thoroughly forged" - Maureen B. Roberts (so beautiful and so true)

All the Wild Horses... Tethered with tears in their eyes

2010-12-19T11:33:00.000-08:00

"May no man's touch ever tame... "

I've cried a river...

2010-12-19T09:27:00.001-08:00

Too often psychiatry puts out the fire in our soul...

2010-12-19T09:18:00.000-08:00

Media coverage for 'Critical Positions on and Beyond Recovery' at UCC - 10th/ 11th November 2010

2010-11-14T03:50:00.000-08:00

‘Dehumanising’ mental services widely criticised
By Jennifer Hough
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2010

DOCTORS, carers, campaigners and former patients have spoken out against "abusive, dehumanising and discriminatory" mental health services at a unique "recovery" conference at UCC yesterday.

Held in honour of the late Dr Michael Corry, who avidly campaigned to bring humanity to the services, the two-day event was organised by Dr Harry Gijbels (school of nursing) and Lydia Sapouna (school of applied social studies) UCC, and aims to open a debate on launching an Irish movement for critical voices against the status quo.

Dr Aine Tubridy, psychotherapist and partner of the late Dr Corry, said it was time to recognise that mental health problems came as a result of trauma, lack of love, difficult childhoods and situations and not because of a "broken brain". She said people with mental health problems need compassion and love and not a system based on fear and medication.

Making an emotional and passionate presentation, campaigner Grainne Humphrys, whose partner John Hunt is involuntarily detained, said he is worn down, humiliated and broken.

Mr Hunt has spent more than four years locked up in Carraig Mór in Cork city, as reported in the Irish Examiner this year.

Ms Humphrys maintains his "treatment" has further harmed and damaged him physically and mentally.

"John’s experiences have often not been put into context and prejudice has dogged him because he is viewed as ‘non-compliant’," she said

"I believe our mental health system is punitive rather than loving, rendering people dependent, rather than independent."

Ms Humphrys said it was disgraceful that only after media pressure and a visit from Green party senator Dan Boyle was she allowed a day pass for Mr Hunt without supervision.

Another campaigner, Mary Maddock, said there was far more harm than good being done within the services and that people were being poisoned with toxic medications.

This story appeared in the printed version of the Irish Examiner Thursday, November 11, 2010

Read more: http://www.examiner.ie/ireland/health/dehumanising-mental-services-widely-criticised-136098.html#ixzz15FySb7tw

For Carraig Mór... "I'm gonna see this through!"

2010-11-03T16:02:00.000-07:00

I AM A WOMAN ON A MISSION... Nothing can stop me now!! I'll never give up!!

'Forced Treatment' - interview by Christine Allen for the Cork Independent

2010-10-31T14:42:00.000-07:00

Thursday, 28 October 2010

A Cork woman who has been battling for the rehabilitation of her mentally ill partner is to speak at an upcoming conference in UCC to debate the justification of power held by psychiatric services. Grainne Humphrys is a mental health campaigner but also the long-term partner of 30-year-old John Hunt, a resident at Carraig Mór in Shanakiel.

Diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia, John was first detained in 2006 after he suffered a breakdown. Grainne started an online campaign for his release this year from what she calls a “psychiatric prison” and a “chemical straightjacket”.

John is currently taking a cocktail of drugs, including anti-psychotics Solian and Clopixol, sleeping tablets, anti-anxiety tablets and Largactil, which has caused his teeth to rot and has resulted in the loss of four so far.

His partner believes that he is overmedicated and in need of rehabilitation to remedy the “inadequate response” by the medical profession.

“I believe that the response John got to his distress was an inadequate response. His distress was medicalised. He was going through a natural healing process as a response to a traumatic childhood and I believe that this process was interrupted with the use of psychiatric medication and forced treatment.

“He was excluded from the community and has become dependent and institutionalised. This experience has added years to John's recovery process,” she said.

She added that social factors and John’s life experience were not taken into account.

“His experiences were taken out of context and rather than looking at the root cause, he was labelled, drugged and incarcerated. This is a shocking violation of his human and civil rights. We need to change our response to human distress,” she said.

Birthday

Just last July, he celebrated his 30th birthday with Grainne and their son Josh with a day out in Cork.

“The days out have given John new hope for his future. He speaks a lot about Joshua, our son, and how much he wants to be a part of his life. John is still keen to get out and the six-hour pass every two weeks has given him something to work towards. We still have a long way to go,” she said.

“I believe John has been re-traumatised by his experiences in the mental health services. I think it is paramount that an alternative for John is found as soon as possible. He needs to gradually be weaned off institutional life and brought back out into the community where he belongs.”

She said John would now have to overcome psychiatric drug addiction, iatrogenic dependency, lost years and chemical damage.

“He will have to heal from the horrors and isolation of forced treatment and the silencing of his voice for so long, on top of his original traumas. I believe that if I wasn't fighting this battle for John, he would be forgotten and that is a tragedy beyond comprehension.”

The free, two-day conference is organised by the Catherine McAuley School of Nursing and Midwifery and the School of Applied Social Studies at University College Cork (UCC) and will take place on 10 and 11 November.

The conference is also being held in memory of the late Dr Michael Corry, a mental health campaigner and keynote speaker at last year’s conference who passed away earlier this year.

Cork Independent columnist, John McCarthy will also address the conference, as will Dr Pat Bracken, a West Cork consultant psychiatrist who hopes to open a debate on the power held by the psychiatric services in Ireland.

He told the Cork Independent that no other branch of the medical profession held such power.

He said it was time for a debate and an interesting time in Ireland, as over the past ten years, Irish people had begun to question those deemed to be superior in society.

Comments (2) »
Transpersonal Psychology not Psychiatry
written by Marion Hubbard, October 28, 2010

It is the psychiatric system which is 'mentally ill'. It continues to abuse valuable people who should be respected and supported in their own efforts to deal with important natural processes. These often highly intelligent and sensitive souls have issues which are more the concern of transpersonal psychologists than of medical doctors. There is a lot of information available but the usual psychiatrist is complacent in their ignorance and thrives on the sense of power and control which the system offers. There is an urgent need to transform the psychiatric institution so that it can properly function in a way which will contribute to the transformlation of humanity.

Forced 'Treatment'
written by Mary Maddock, October 28, 2010

MindFreedom Ireland have been campaigning for years against forced 'treatment'. Unfortunately John is only one of many people who has his human rights abused. Force is violence even if it mistakenly done for the 'good' of another.
Let the psychiatric system replace the power of force with the power of love. Then the revolving door will collapse and people in distress will find true healing.

System fails John as cry for freedom falls on deaf ears By Jennifer Hough MONDAY, JULY 19, 2010

2010-10-15T02:58:00.000-07:00

JOHN Hunt turned 30 on Saturday and spent the day as a free man.

He is no criminal, but after passing the day with family and friends, he was forced to return to his place of residence for the last four and a half years — a psychiatric intensive care unit in Cork city where he is being detained under the Mental Health Act as an involuntary patient.

On the day we meet in the small and uninviting visitors room at the hospital where he lives, just a few days before his birthday, he is looking forward to getting out, and smiles widely at the thought.

Clearly heavily-medicated, although he is a little confused at times, John is placid and amiable.

And when it comes to one topic in particular, perfectly lucid — he wants to get out.

His partner Gráinne and four-year-old son Joshua want him home too, but his doctors believe he is better off in Carraig Mór, a two-storey unit in the grounds of the former Our Lady’s Hospital, and Gráinne has been told John is seen as "suitable" for long-term hospitalisation.

John was first admitted to the unit after suffering a breakdown and has been diagnosed at various times as being bi-polar or schizophrenic.

He has been on a cocktail of drugs for years, and they have caused a serious deterioration in his physical condition.

He does not see the outside of the unit from one day to the next, the gated garden out the back is small and overgrown.

There is no psychologist to work with him, and he is well on the way to becoming institutionalised, although he is quite clear about wanting to get home.

John’s case is not typical, but is not unusual either, and highlights the inadequacies in the mental health system whereby people are being held indefinitely in psychiatric units, on high doses of medication, without seeming to make any progress.

According to the most recent Mental Health Commission inspection report of Carraig Mór, "the lack of a rehabilitation team is regrettable, particularly in view of the fact that a number of residents had been resident for longer than six months." It also notes no psychologist has been recruited as recommended.

According to Consultant Psychiatrist Dr Siobhan Barry, under the Mental Health Act 2001, a person should only be detained if they are likely to benefit from treatment, and it is incumbent on a doctor to show that this is the case when seeking further detention.

"If someone has plateaued and you cannot show that they will improve through further treatment, then you have no reason to continue holding them," she says.

Indeed, the 2001 act set up mental health tribunals to automatically review all decisions to protect patients’ interests. Under the act, the Mental Health Commission appoints a solicitor for the patient and a hearing determines if the person should be released or not.

According to Mark Felton, chairman of Mental Health Lawyers Association, and an experienced tribunal solicitor, people end up being detained for many years.

"As long as the doctor says that is what’s needed, then that is what will generally happen."

"We have no low-security forensic unit in this country for people who are held for long periods. Doctors do their best with what they have available to them, but it is not always what is in the best interests of the patient."

It is clear to all that John Hunt is not ready to leave Carraig Mór for good this week, or even next month, and his family accept this.

But it is not acceptable to them that there is no alternative to long-term hospitalisation for John.

Gráinne firmly believes he needs therapeutic interventions, such as psychotherapy, to deal with his underlying issues.

She does not necessarily blame John’s doctors, more the system that allows a young man to vegetate behind locked doors.

She believes John is on a worrying amount of medication and has expressed her serious concern about long-term brain and kidney damage to his doctors.

"I would like some plan to be put in place for gradually re-introducing John to life outside Carraig Mór," Grainne says. "John has committed no crime and yet he is locked up."

Grainne does not accept Carraig Mór is the only future for the father of her child and has vowed to continue fighting until some solution can be reached to give him the chance for a better life.

This story appeared in the printed version of the Irish Examiner Monday, July 19, 2010

Read more: http://www.irishexaminer.com/ireland/system-fails-john-as-cry-for-freedom-falls-on-deaf-ears-125519.html#ixzz12Q7QTvd8

John Hunt

2010-07-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

The Perils of the Commitment and Tribunal Process by 'Spiritual Emergency'

2010-07-07T06:05:00.000-07:00

I've been taking part in some discussions elsewhere in regard to John. I wrote the following in response to one individual's response in that discussion -- they presumed that if John had been held for four years, that must speak to some grave danger on his part. I felt they misunderstood the process and sought to explain it to them.

Bear in mind, if John had committed a crime, he would be entitled to a trial prior to his incarceration. There would be a formal process he would have to undergo before a sentence was reached. In John's case however, not only has he not committed a crime, the incarceration process is fast-tracked. This is one of the areas where his human and legal rights have been grossly breached...

====================================================

Your stumbing block is that you don't understand how Mental Health laws work. You see, all that needs to happen is that you show up at a hospital and you'd not be well. Your family or friends would have taken you there because you were doing some things that seemed odd or unusual. They'd have been worried and felt that the situation was more than they could deal with.

Then, in most jurisdictions, a doctor would admit you and a second doctor would note that he was in favor of it. And that's it. That's your judge and jury right there. You have now been committed and the state has taken on the legality of your existence. If you were married, your spouse will likely have no legal say in what happens after that. If you are an adult, your parents and siblings will have no legal say either.

From that point forward, your "detainment" can be renewed, usually in increments of months or years -- the specifics depend on the laws of the geographical region. In a well-balanced system -- a fair and just system -- there is an appeal process that you can initiate so as to challenge your incarceration or medical treatment. It can be frightening and intimidating and you'll probably want your loved ones there to offer strength and support.

It's also probably best if you hire a lawyer to help guide you through the intricacies because you're not a lawyer and you're frightened by the power these people have to determine what happens to your entire life -- like how often you can see your children, your partner, your friends -- everything that gives your life some measure of joy, purpose or meaning. They can take it all away and they know more than you do, so you really want a lawyer that will be on your side, fighting for you. The hospital may also have their own lawyer present but there will be no judge or jury of your peers.

In John's case, the mental health laws pertaining to the tribunal process do not allow the patient to initiate a review of their case. As a result, he's dependent upon a scheduled review process. Also in John's case, because he has been hospitalized for four years, he has no earnings he can draw on to hire a lawyer to help guide him through that process. The hospital will assign him one but it's probably the same lawyer they always use -- the one who joins the docs for a drink when it's all done.

John has never been permitted to have family members with him during his tribunals. He has never had emotional support. He's never had independent legal support. He's also been cut off from the world. He doesn't have a legal library he can access or medical articles he can study to help prepare himself. Even if he did, he's in such a heavily drugged state, he cannot speak in his own defense because that's what heavy sedation with neuroleptic drugs do -- they reduce and shut down brain function.

This is why so many people report feeling like zombies -- they can't think, they can't walk, they can't dress themselves. They might also twitch and drool and stare vacantly and urinate on themselves because these can all be side-effects of the medications, particularly, heavy medication. Naturally, all of this adds up to look like one very crazy person sitting on the other side of the table who only whispers -- because he knows he has absolutely no power in that situation -- that he just wants to go home.

But the doctors decide he's still so unwell and he doesn't seem to have improved -- he doesn't socialize, he doesn't get excited about life anymore. He just sits there and watches television or sleeps. They say, "No". They do have absolute power to make that decision. They have the power to keep you there, month after month until you die.

Then your trial is over until the next time when they will bring you in, every bit as drugged and helpless as the last time and six months or a year or three years later, you will quietly beg again... "I just want to go home."

'John's Fight' by Kayla Hunt

2010-07-03T04:40:00.000-07:00

A hard-hitting, humanising and fast-paced brilliant little video by John's 16-year-old sister Kayla, fighting for her brother's name, rights and freedom. The spirit of youth is with us. Beautiful old photoes of John as a baby and child in this one!

My Aching Heart

2010-06-23T04:29:00.000-07:00

The term is derived from German 'schizophrenie' from Greek 'skhizein' meaning 'to split' and 'phren' of unknown origin meaning 'heart or mind' so that ‘schizophrenia’ actually means 'broken soul' or 'broken heart’. (Thanks Tessa)

"But in the end, I know my aching heart will mend" - John Hunt

Love Revolution - Lenny Kravitz

2010-06-22T15:35:00.000-07:00

I came across this song by accident but it was no accident! It's so appropriate to the Free John cause...

Deprived of our Humanity: The Case against Neuroleptic Drugs by Lars Martensson, M.D.

2010-06-20T23:40:00.000-07:00

The Voiceless Movement

Neuroleptic drugs are given the main credit for the modern revolution in psychiatry. They are generally thought to have greatly helped the victims of schizophrenia. In reality they have not helped, but rather immeasurably harmed all the people with this diagnosis. The harm is twofold: first, because of direct damage to the brain and to mental functions: second, because they are tied together with false and abhorrent views of human problems and human beings.

The drugs have promoted a false definition of schizophrenia as a medical problem with a medical solution. They have prevented us from taking our responsibility. As a consequence, people with schizophrenia have been abandoned, most of these young and often gifted people would have been able, like the rest of us, to fulfill many of the promises and possibilities of their lives.

Al Green - 'How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?'

2010-06-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do
I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again

I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow, no one said a word about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again

Kali and the Invocation; The Dark Goddess in the Transformation of Consciousness

2010-06-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

It is time for the invocation:
Kali, be with us.
Violence, destruction, receive our homage,
Help us to bring darkness into the light,
To lift out the pain, the anger,
Where it can be seen for what it is --
The balance wheel for our vulnerable, aching love
Put the wild hunger where it belongs,
Within the act of creation,
Crude power that forges a balance
Between hate and love.
Help us to be the always hopeful
Gardeners of the Spirit
Who know that without darkness
Nothing comes to birth
As without light
Nothing flowers.
Bear the roots in mind.
You, the dark one, Kali.
Awesome power.

-- May Sarton

From the book: Dancing in the Flames: The Dark Goddess in the Transformation of Consciousness -- Marion Woodman and Elinor Dickson

"Psychiatric Prisoner" by Christine Allen for the Cork Independent

2010-06-19T03:56:00.000-07:00

Psychiatric prisoner
Written by Christine Allen
Thursday, 17 June 2010

Cork woman has pleaded this week for the release of her partner who has been locked up in a Cork psychiatric unit against the wishes of his family for over four years,. John Hunt (29) will not spend Father's Day with his four-year-old son Josh this Sunday. Instead he faces another day of heavy medication and detention in Carraig Mor in Shanakiel, against his will and to the emotional torment of his partner, son, mother and friends.

Diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, John was first detained in 2006 after he suffered a breakdown, according to his partner Grainne Humphrys from West Cork.

She has started an online campaign for his release from what she calls a "psychiatric prison" and a "chemical straitjacket".
"John suffered a breakdown when I was pregnant with our son Josh and his frightened mother Marion signed him in. But now, we can't get him out. We have no say," she told the Cork Independent.

He has not seen the outside of the centre in over four years when he attended the christening of his now four-year-old son. The frustrated 29-year-old, who is a talented writer and artist, told the Cork Independent this week that he feels beaten.

"The energy has been bullied out of me."

No outlet for emotions

When this newspaper visited John with Grainne this week, the cramped visiting room was lonesome and heavy with loss. John is currently taking a cocktail of drugs, including anti-psychotics Solian and Clopixol, sleeping tablets, anti-anxiety tablets and Largactil, which have caused his teeth to rot, resuling in the loss of four so far.

"Sometimes he is yellow in the face from all the meds and he is now incontinent. He's completely over-medicated," Grainne said. He is heartbroken that he cannot spend time with his son. "Josh is his everything."

However, she said that when John expresses any pain, it is seen as a relapse in his condition. "He has no outlet for his emotions. It's not encouraged." While John's eyes were dulled with medication they still reach out for release. If it were not for his lively son Josh and the warmth of Grainne's embrace to her partner of over six years, the room would turn the healthiest mind towards melancholy.

"We have been forced to have our family relationship in this small room for four years now. This room is watched by CCTV and shared with other families. This cannot go on any longer."

Mental Health Act

John is being kept in care under the Mental Health Act 2001 as his consultant believes him to be a risk to the safety of his family. The Act gives power to a treating consultant psychiatrist over the freedom of the patient. However, Grainne explained that the severity of the diagnosis was based on a violent reaction that John had to forced treatment.

"He needs a different approach and one that allows him to deal with the emotional pain of his past. He has unreleased trauma from his childhood but there is no psychologist available to him at Carraig Mor.

"John is a victim of violence and not a perpetrator." According to Grainne, who works as a mental health advocate, she has already set up a number of supports for John. "John is not a danger to anyone.

"Neither his mother or I have a legal voice for John and no means to appeal. He's trapped there and I'm more afraid of the mental health system than I am of his condition. We want him to come home now - it's time."

Comments (5) »
Online Global Petition to Release and Rehabilitate John
written by Grainne Humphrys, June 19, 2010

I have just created an online petition for John. Please support, read, sign and circulate. Thank you. Grainne.

http://www.gopetition.com/online/37233.html

Murder of The human spirit
written by Debra Filter-Dionne, June 18, 2010

Many of these drugs not only root the teeth out but create health conditions that can kill people. In my view the lattter damage is sanctioned murder of the mentally ill or wrongful death. Not all people who are mentally ill do not know what they want. That is the the real tragic part about this. I know people who have been deemed mentally ill who have written books and know alot about what they want.Mental illness doesnt do away with intelligence which means these people have a mind and if they are severely mentally challenged they still are human beings that are suppose to be protected by docs who take oaths not to harm life. State mental health systems who house people under this law devest them of all thier legal rights. I would get together a class action suite and sue the pants off of professionally appointed people that think that they have the right to harm or kill the mentally ill with drugs. If this man is a child abuse victim and is talking about it then the lable he is under is going to not allow him help.If the shrink is wrong how does one get a second opinion. Under the law you speak of the family doesnt even have a right to a second opinion. That gives this appointed shrink no checks and balances concerning error. These drugs have not been proven to help every one but when a person is put in the mental health system under this law these drugs are treated as if they do help every one. Infact I have seen these drugs worsen the condition of some people. Thats why they have side effects that docs are suppose to be reading if the patient doesnt know what he wants.Appointed Shrinks who are over people under this law do not have the right to kill or damage any body. They take an oath just like any other doc not to harm life. Mentally ill people who are on the outside of the walls of this place have all kinds of rights under ADA. I have complex PTSD. I have had all kinds of drugs thrown at me but because I dont fall under this law that has been quoted they can not force me to take them. However, I dont think any drugs that can do things that can worsen the health of these people to the point of damaging them or killing them should be allowed to be used on human beings. The forced use of drugs with out looking at the health history of these people comes very close to doing experiments on human beings or severe mal practice that isnt controlled. They have families that can sue for wrongful death and report docs that are going agasint thier oaths.

On your own Door step!!!
written by Dean Smith, June 17, 2010

I met John a few months back with Grainne and Josh and have advocated for quite awhile for him like many others have,first of all i,am absolutely disgusted with this, i have sent e-mails to political partys in Eire and only got one reply which was from the green party which was very kind of them to reply,Eire has a history for supporting people and other countrys on human rights issues may i say to those people of cork this is an issue but is being put a side as i see it,i wonder how many politicens in Eire would react if this was one of there family,the whole point of being treated in a hospital is to get well or at least make Johns life more easy than what he did before he went in!!now being in hospital it has become more of an issue than the reason he went in for,so therefore is this not more of an hindurance on his recovery, ,helping john to become more close with his partner and son will not just be an emotional boost for the family but also might change peoples view on how those with emotional distress are treated in Eire,but putting it straight to the point"On your own door step"

Kind Regards
Dean Smith Stockport, Cheshire, England

...
written by Georgina Goulding, June 17, 2010

Dear Grainne,

Only just found out what you have all been going thru. Sending you lots of support and love. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do to highlight your plight.
x Georgina

EleMental Lead Ireland
written by Grainne Humphrys, June 17, 2010

If anyone would like to follow John's blog - his online campaign, here is the link attached below. There is also a group on facebook you can join called 'The Incarceration of John'. Google the same and you can watch his video campaign on youtube. Thanks for all your support, Grainne.

http://freejohn-loverevolutionary.blogspot.com/

Different Approaches and Different Outcomes
written by Sylvia May Forrest, June 20, 2010

I am feeling overwhelmed by this situation that John, Grainne and their family are in. I started recovering memories in 1993 at the age of 42. Repressing memories is a survival tactic but it means that you manage to survive only in a shadow land. I am not in that shadow land any more but it has been a long, painful and traumatic journey dealing with all the trauma of the original abuse, the trauma of remembering and the trauma of trying to find a voice and speak about the abuse in a family who didn't want to know and a society that doesn't understand it.

My heart goes out to John, Grainne and their children. They are all suffering from John's original abuse and also from the abuse that is being heaped upon them day by day by a mental health service that doesn't understand and also a society that doesn't understand.

I was lucky - I was directed through psychology services which wasn't always ideal but I did have two psychologists who came alongside at different times and they did understand the complexities of abuse, trauma and being silenced. The first thing they both did was to listen, really listen and hear what they were listening to. They helped me to find my voice and to speak.

One psychologist asked me if I wanted to come into hospital. When I asked if I needed to they said - "I think it will make you worse".

This says it all to me.

I pray that people will join this campaign because John needs a voice when he can't use his own because what he does and says is so misunderstood and misrepresented.

There is so much more I want to say but am struggling for the words - be strong Grainne - you are doing all the right things to make this known and you and your friends have what John needs to bring him back from the shadow land. People do come back.

With all my love and hugs to keep you going,
Sylvia May Forrest
EleMental in England

Comments (7) »
my son but for a different legal system
written by mom, June 22, 2010

They did this to my son after 1 day in a psych ward filling him with treatment drugs with no knowledge of his medical conditions let along his true mental condition. Checks & balances are so important to protect the rights of the mentally ill. My son was out in 2 days because patient advocates were available in the US. (Praise God!)
I pray for John & his family to have strength to get through this. I pray the psychiatrists learn to treat mental patients with a better understanding of how long it takes to begin to heal an abused human being.
It has taken me years of reflective listening & acceptance of my son’s issues to help him lead a normal life. I believe it is possible & we need:
1) find more compassionate methods of in-patient treatment that reduce fright. If you lock someone up & they respond like a frightened animal I would think that is NORMAL! The deceptive methods used to lock up frightened people are appalling.
2) accept that some abused people ,like my son, will never be’ like’ you or I. Develop better scales to measure their behaviors reflecting how well they can function in their planned release environment.
3) develop treatments that allow outpatient treatment as much as possible. If you must have in-patient treatment, create facilities that allow better experiences than 4 white walls. I have sacrificed many hours for my son & I know other families are willing to do that.

A Beautiful Quote

2010-06-15T15:30:00.001-07:00

Once hope is instilled... it begins to function as an internal resource and becomes a major source of the person's motivation for positive change. When combined with favorable external resources and opportunities for rehabilitation, it determines the individual's involvement in new activities that pave the person's journey in rebuilding a wounded self and finding new meaning and purpose in life.

-- Zlatka Russinova

Post on MindFreedom Ireland by Mary Maddock

2010-06-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

In honour of John Hunt.

The British government admitted today, the 15th of June 2010, that Bloody Sunday was unjustified and unjustifiable. This a great day for Irish freedom.

When will those responsible admit that citizens like John Hunt incarcerated without a trial, chemically lobotomised, separated from his loving family, suffering cognitive, creative and severe psychical adverse drug effects daily that this is indeed unjustified and unjustifiable. There are many other Irish citizens who are compelled to endure the same fate.

Let Brian Cowen recognise this horrific abuse and violence in his own back yard. Let his government who have the power to change our mental health laws put an end to this outrageous situation. Let the wider public put pressure on our government. Let them demand that those who are labeled 'mentally disabled' have the same human /civil rights as every other citizen. It is abominable that criminals have more rights. ( e.g. they are innocent until they are found guilty.)

EleMental's video for John that took the 'Free John' campaign to a whole new dimension

2010-06-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

Marion Aslan, Executive Director of EleMental - International Centre for Recovery and Thriving to Grainne Humphrys, EleMental Lead Ireland.

2010-06-14T09:28:00.000-07:00

EleMental UK took John's campaign to a global scale with their video 'The Incarceration of John'. Their support is steady and constant and unafraid to address the issues many side-step and don't have the courage or strength to face. EleMental are spear-heading ground-breaking work by promoting peer support and with their THRIVE programme. This letter of support and truth moved me at a very deep level.

It's the brave and fearless Marion Aslan who has taken John's campaign to another level with her vision and love. She kicks open doors where others fear to tread, she gets the ball rolling and when I get tired running with that ball, she picks it up again and keeps this campaign moving and alive, along with many other EleMentors. Marion has inspired, empowered and encouraged me to speak out about the difficult, raw and painful truth than many are too afraid to acknowledge publicly. Marion will walk that extra mile with you and be by your side when you need to voice these unexpressed truths. Where others fear to tread, Marion Aslan is a trail-blazer and a taboo-buster!

EleMental – International Centre for Recovery and Thriving

www.elemental.org.uk

marionaslan@aol.com

To whom it may concern;
This letter is a response to the following campaign by Grainne Humphrys, EleMental Lead Ireland to free her long-term partner from Carraig Mor Psychiatric Hospital, Southern Ireland.

John has committed no crime, those closest to him state that he is not dangerous and yet he has been incarcerated for more than 4 years against the wishes of himself and his family. There are no current plans to return him to his loved ones despite his immediate family offering total support and a planned package of care through EleMental with a psychiatric nurse and experts by experience willing to voluntarily be with and care for John.

EleMental is outraged by this blatant flagrant abuse of John’s human rights and views this as a political issue and in the absence of any cohesive clinical argument or case for John’s detention, EleMental considers John to be a political prisoner for daring to be different. As far as EleMental is concerned being different is not synonymous with illness and we will raise this at international level. Grainne, John’s partner, has been seeking answers to her questions for as long as he has been incarcerated. Please join us in supporting her by whatever means possible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCIi2GoTePU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NIXp-4kn0c
http://freejohn-loverevolutionary.blogspot.com/

Dearest Grainne,

As you know, I have not yet had the opportunity to meet John, just spoken briefly to him on the telephone. All I know of John is based on the hours you and I have spent talking and corresponding, and hearing the stories of his childhood from you and his family. One thing is clear to me. A man who inspires such depth of love, respect and compassion in others is a man who is truly special. And such men are dangerous – they are the ones who have the capacity to shake society to its core.
The society you and I live in fears men like John; men who find ways to survive their stories of rejection, violence, abuse and loss by transcending into alternative realities. It suits most members of our present self absorbed, money-orientated society to see people such as John as mad, crazy or ill rather than what has happened in his life as being so, and not understanding the concept of crisis being potential transformation and renewal. And certainly, through ignorance, not recognising the inadequacies of bio-psychiatry, that it is all based on wish, myth and politics (Loren Mosher)

Instead we learn to create symptoms of illness from distress and create a sense of “Otherness” to avoid our own shame, guilt, fear of becoming like the “Other” and losing control over our oh so sane minds. Without thought we – and I deliberately use the word “WE” because if we don’t speak out then we are all guilty - pass the buck on to those in psychiatry with power to label the Johns of this world with such abstract terms as “Schizophrenic”, and to effectively drug away any resistance from the “Other” - so much easier than addressing the original problems. So much easier to pretend that abuse, violation, degradation and neglect, and the legacy of such intense distress that leads many into psychiatric services could not happen in my neighbourhood, in my family…

Because if for one moment society at large stopped to consider that John is no crazier than the next man what are the implications for us, and for the psychiatrist who has condemned him to four years of hell? What does it say about the staff and all the workers who have been complicit in this duplicity? Those who have never sat with John to make sense of his world views and try to understand the contextual relevance of his beliefs, preferring instead to see their own interpretations as the accepted wisdom? All who deny the origins of his experience and have never attempted to nurture him back to health and being with you, Hazel and his son, Josh. What does it say about a system of “care” that took a young man in distress, and then compounded his problems with a coercive drug regime against Johns will? Rather like the child in the fairy tale “The Emperors New Clothes” John’s story challenges us all to examine the truth and with it our humanity, our values and our sense of justice.

If there were any rehabilitative aspect to John’s incarceration, Grainne, then you would not need to be fighting this battle. Sadly, you are correct in your assertion that John is being thrice silenced, “The trauma survivor is silenced three times; firstly by their family, secondly by society and thirdly by bio-psychiatry.” I would go even further and say he is being thrice punished for being a victim of circumstance. Each and every one of us should feel outraged at this. “A civilised society that can no longer be outraged can no longer be civilised”

Elemental is now forced to conclude that the pathologising and detention of people who are surviving their life traumas in diverse ways is an immoral act. Medical psychiatry should be ashamed that they have not altered their stance from the times of the “moral defective”, from homosexuality as an illness entity, and Drapetomania. All that changes is the language, their victims remain the same- those who dare to be different, those who question the validity of diagnoses and so-called “treatment” or perhaps more importantly those, like John who remind us all of societies failings and highlight the cruelties of life we prefer to disregard.

Responses to the video “Incarceration of John” show the strength of emotional support for you and John by people all over the world. As you now move into a strategic phase of campaigning we continue to pledge our full support practically as well as emotionally.

Marion Aslan,

Executive Director, EleMental – International Centre for Recovery and Thriving

And also the following subscribers;

Dr Mike Smith, Director EleMental – International Centre for Recovery and Thriving

Maureen Harkness, Edinburgh, Scotland

Adie Regan, Elemental Manchester, England

Sylvia May, EleMental Manchester, England

Virginia Pulker, EleMental Australia Lead

Amy Smith, EleMental USA Lead

Paula Pettitt, Elemental Wales Lead

Dean Smith, EleMental

Ros Bowyer, EleMental Perth, Australia

Rowland Urey, Elemental UK Lead

Karen Winchester, EleMental Coventry

A beautiful video with an important message

2010-06-14T04:05:00.000-07:00

For too long now, there has been fearful and punitive responses to human distress. Trauma gets labelled and medicated and packaged as 'care'. This kind of care is very dangerous and does not empower people. It disempowers people and encourages dependency. It does not a give a person their dignity. As a society, we need to become braver and look past the layers of behaviours, symptoms, labels and medication to the unexpressed trauma truth. We need to allow real and deep healing to occur. This is a natural process. It can also be a painful and difficult process. We need a lot of support for this frightening and, at times, lonely journey. However, labelling and medicating adds years to our journey of recovery and causes further and unneccessary suffering. Keep up the good work, Marion. And well done, Maureen, for finding the courage to speak out. Not an easy thing to do in a society that is driven by fear and operates by denying trauma. Love, Grainne (EleMental Lead, Ireland).

A Beautiful Letter of Support from Mary Maddock - a woman who is not afraid of the deep end of the truth pool!

2010-06-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

Mary is one of the bravest and most compassionate women I know and she tirelessly campaigns for justice and change in the mental health field. Her and Jim have been a tower of support, full of understanding and empathy, for me and my family.
Mary and Jim very kindly published the poem 'Schizophrenia' I wrote for John at the back of their book which I wrote shortly after Josh was born as a way of channelling the anger I felt towards the mental health system and the 'chemical imbalance' theory they were presenting as fact.
Coincidentally, the launch was on the 11th of December which was the date I had met John some years previously at a comedy night at Future Forests. Now that's what I call sychronicity!

I met John for the first time in Carraig Mor when I went to visit my friend Helena many years ago. He was so shy and afraid that he just came to the locked room for a few minutes and disappeared again. Helena knew him well and spoke about him from time to time.

Carraig Mor is a horrible place where people are very drugged with very little to do. Even though thankfully I never spent time there as a locked unit I remember it well as the former St Anne's where I spent too much time and hated every minute while I existed there. I can only imagine what it must be like to spend more that four years wasting away without your supportive family and friends.

I met Grainne some time before at a conference in Bantry and we immediately got on together as if we knew each other all our lives. We both had a passion to give our lives to creating a non violent revolution in the 'mental health' system. We emailed each other many times and I got to know Grainne, Hazel and Josh, especially baby Josh. They came to visit us in Cork and I had the pleasure of having Josh with me in the swimming pool when he was only a few months old. He was also our youngest star a the first launch of our book 'Soul Survivor---A Personal Encounter with Psychiatry'. Hazel is a natural at music and I spent some time with her musical creativity which is exceptional.

Jim, Tim Nyhan (our mutual friend) and myself were fortunate to be at Josh's christening. The service was very personal and inspiring and we had a beautiful day together in lovely West Cork. This was the first time I had a little communication with John but it was very distant as John was in a sea of chemicals. It was impossible to reveal his real self. It reminded me of another christening many years before when I was drugged out of reality and unaware of my lovely baby - my first born. Unfortunately I remained in a chemical straitjacket in the community for almost another 20 years.

It is outrageous torture to John and his family to keep him in Carraig Mor for so long with no solution only more torture. I love this family. I feel abused all over again while this human tragedy continues to unfold. Let us stand up and be counted and do all in our power to allow them to live together. Grainne is an exceptional mother and partner. She is doing everything in her power to rediscover the man she once knew. She has unconditional love and is spreading it around. Let those who have the power to change listen to her. Let us stop paying hard earned taxpayers money on harmful forced 'treatments' Let her find a way to detox John safely and give him the support he needs to recover and thrive.

'Musings on my Mind' by Grainne for John

2010-06-13T05:59:00.000-07:00

Life battered you, so you fought back

You had too much to carry too young

When I love you, I am gardening my soul

If it takes a community to raise a child then it stands to reason that it takes a community to save a life

Your anger is a valid response to forced treatment

If I knew then what I know now, I would never have allowed you step in the door of Carraig Mor

The hurt and despair in your eyes at your "treatment"... through all, you have remained dignified

Your spirit cannot be broken

Fear can lead to resistance but resisting labelling and drugging is the first step to recovery. Non-compliance is a brave act

It appears that non-compliance with the mental health dictate is a crime in our land! Surely our minds are free?

The response we get to our distress effects our outcome; knowledge is power and many are disempowered through being fed ignorance

Those who need the most get the least

You transform pain and suffering into something beautiful

If you let go of your pain, you have to release your brother and face the pain of loss

And that loss and hurt is unfathomable, deeper than the dark blue sea

While watching this video, please take into account that the first seven years of John's life, he experienced unspeakable violence

2010-06-13T01:53:00.001-07:00

Random Little Memories of John by Mycheala Hunt, his Little Sister

2010-06-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

A gorgeous, beautiful, perceptive, intelligent and thought-provoking piece by John's 16-year-old sister. Mycheala is well on her way to becoming a kick-boxing champion and she's a talented writer and artist too. The Hunt family are a multi-talented clan. Mycheala refers to their brother, Michael, in this piece. Michael died in a drowning accident, aged 4, when John was 11 years old.

Where do I start, well simply, John has a family, friends, acquaintances, flesh, bone , muscle, a heart and a soul. He is no different then you or me, the only difference is that his life experiences have him eaten alive by life.

There is an 11 year difference between myself and John but we were and still are close. When my father died John was already in GF right down the hall from my father. But before that and before everything went wrong when my father wasn't around, he would step in as a substitute for me, Sib and Keith along with my other older brothers of course.

I remember one way of him trying to be the step-dad, not very pleasant but I'll thank him for it was when he handed me his cigarette butt to put in the fire and me being curious went to take a puff, but he was standing behind me without me realizing and gave me some clatter, I thank him for this because I have never touched a cigarette since.

But as the years progressed John got stranger, no one knew what was going on inside his head, we still don't. I remember my first encounter with his schizophrenia. I was young. My friend and I were at a kiddies disco , I came home at 7/8:00 and it was dark. My mum and young sister were at the neighbour's house. I walked in the door to find him sitting at the end of the stairs, he looked scared, I was. He came over to me and kneeled down to my height, he stared me straight in the eyes and said "you wanted something and now the devil controls your eyes". He was indicating towards some ring around the blue in my eyes, which I assumed I'd always had. He then went on to say he could see angels and he was walking the same path as Jesus. Thinking back this is where it all went down hill for John. I was listening to him talk about loads of things and then our neighbour barged in the door and hit John, I still don't know why. I ran to get help from someone and that is where my mind of that occasion goes blank.

Jumping to another memory , he lived with a guy in Cork who would be a good candidate for a possible schizophrenia, I went to stay with him for 2 weeks , Emma was there too, she was a girl who always looked after John and kept me occupied for those 2 weeks. They had a pet snake , it got out and went down stairs to the neighbours apartment, the snake had to go, I remember Niall putting his hand in front of it to show people it wasn't poisonous. I would like to thank Emma for looking after him at this time.

I'm going to memories at complete random but I remember when John went on a little trip to england to visit his abusive father, we knew not of his intentions but they weren't bad. We thought he would kill his dad but instead just drove him a bit mad, he did this by saying random weird things and turning the fridge off at night saying "the buzzing was too loud" that was John's payback, I think they forgave each other.

John at one stage could take on the world, enemies, had many friends and many enemies , his enemies knew of his condition and when he was on a weekend release attacked him. John held them off, even though they had broken bottles and more, Jeffery jumped in to help and the lads never came back again. If this were to happen again he probably wouldn't be able to fend them off, the meds have destroyed him and his soul so he just lies down in defeat.

Visiting John these days is hard , at times he doesn't know who I am , other times i'm the adopted sister but when he's not drugged up to the last he knows me as his little sister that he loves and loves him, he has never turned on me or hurt me and i don't think he ever would, and as messed up as he gets I know he cares because i gave him this surfboard necklace , he makes up stories about where it came from but he never lets it go , its important to him he just can't remember why, I'm in that block head of his somewhere ha ha.

John carries many burdens , whether it be the death of his brother, abuse and more, he survived a tragic well-lived life but melted in the process. I want to show him a box of remains of Micheals things but I'm scared of his reaction, I don't want to traumatize him more (if possible) but he deserves to see them.

This brings me to another memory, John was on the road to recovery, my older brother Andrew would have John out for a night or so and we would all spend time together watching movies, having meals etc... but it got bad again , I walked down stairs to find John holding his hand over a glass with some water in it, he said it was his blood and the cat had bitten his hand. Andrew came down stairs , John tried to go upstairs for tights to close up his cut, Andrew wouldn't as his girlfriend was upstairs and didn't know what he was going to do. They fought, John tried to gouge Andrew's eyes out so he restrained him until the guards came, he told the guards that Andrew tried to kill him it came as a shock. THIS IS THE RESULT OF HIS MEDICATION.
John and Andrew didn't talk for ages but now Andrew has started visiting him again.

If I see people that knew John they all ask the same thing "how's John?". John was and still is loved by many. Girls used to come to me when i was younger and give me poems to give to John and Jeffery as love poems, I used to give them back and say do it yourself, i believed that if a girl wasn't brave enough to do something like that then she wasn't good enough for my brothers.

This is where Grainne comes in, she is the best thing that has happened to John without a doubt, she gave him a son which may give him a chance and she gives him so much support. I remember being in the car and John was reading out poems that he wrote for Grainne , they were dirty but in a sense sweet, just like John ha ha ha.

John was always a loving brother , son and friend. HE SUPPORTED EVERYONE NOW HE NEEDS EVERYONE'S SUPPORT , I am also writing on behalf of Keith and Sabrina (our younger siblings) who also love and ask about John. we miss the old John but at this stage we just want our brother back. We miss John, every one does and if you go and visit him don't forget the shopping list;
1. coffee
2.coke
3.cigarettes
4.a chocolate bar
We miss you John , love from Kayla x

A Moving Testament of a Brother's Love; a Heart-Breaking, Heartfelt and Beautiful Piece of Writing by Jeff Hunt, John's Younger Brother.

2010-06-12T02:02:00.000-07:00

When I read this insightful piece by John's brother, Jeff, I get a real sense of John as a Father-figure in a Father-less home, I see a cry for help, a hurt child carrying too much too young, and I see the fearful and punitive response John got to his distress from the mental health services, how those early experiences with that system further damaged his sense of self. I see how his trauma got labelled and over-medicated and I see how a natural process got interrupted. I also see two loving brothers who did all they could in their power to help their beloved elder brother. It breaks my heart to see just how much John was carrying.

The way Jeff writes is so heartfelt and with a brilliant analogy about the rounds (in the boxing ring of psychiatry) which explains perfectly how forced treatment makes one fight back because their personhood or dignity is not respected. They sure met their match in John! Was he behaving like a dog because he was treated like one inside? Also I see the Legend that is Iron John, who coped as best he could with the cards he was dealt in life. A smart, funny, strong and spirited man who was The Protector of his family. I really enjoy hearing all the legendary stories of John's youth from him, Andrew and Jeff. Lots to tell the grandchildren! And not forgetting the time he jumped the high wall of Carraig Mor and ran down Strawberry Hill...

Your understanding of John is very accurate and an interesting look and explanation.

I remember when i was younger say 10 up I was getting answers to life and somewhat understanding. John and Andrew would let me hang out with them a bit more which at that time was the coolest for a kid and their tough brothers. They always looked after me and no one would get away with a smart remark or bad comment in my direction. Through the years they would teach me so much through the intelligence of John after all everything Andrew knew John would of taught him and gradually passed down to me so in that sense I'm grateful. Fair enough as you do with younger tea, coffee or anything needed for them if it was downstairs or down to the shop that was one of my duties after all it kept me around them alot of the time so a small price to pay. John was always the boss what he said goes no matter what, you wouldn't argue because he could destroy. Anything anyone that got in his way no matter how big or even how many he always walked away smiling. He skipped from 5th class at school to 1st year because he was so smart 6th class would of been a great waste of time and like school his martial arts graded before time that it should of taken. If he was interested in something he was no less than great at it. Even though he was so smart he loved nothing more than being lazy not working and just wasting such a great thing for someone with great potential.

Andrew and John use to fight a bit then alot as Andrew got stronger and answered back and fought back too. John wouldn't ever be sorry for his actions because after all he was always right why should he. John and Andrew were the best of buddys but so different Andrew strong as an ox would be walking down the street in Bandon lets say for example and because every bloke always started fights with John and could never win there was the next target Andrew or their younger brothers me. Anyway Andrew walking the streets of Bandon and would get started on and punched countless times in the head and ask are you finished and just walk away when he could of easily probably won the gentle giant as he was 6ft compared to me and John the small 5ft 7 or what not. So when you look at the difference of personality there was definitly opposites that always hung out always.

Things started to fall through when John use to hang out with dfferent people John was very gullible maybe because he believed no one would dare lie to him. And he would come home preaching about god, jesus and the eye of the beholder. I was confused on his sudden change of humour not violent in stages because he would misunderstand comments and accuse us of being the enemy and snap.

One morning I woke up early just daylight and my younger sister and mother calling me John is about to hang himself when I went to my mums room mind you why there if he really was serious why wake her so she could try stop him?? anyway i went in and if you can imagine he had an extension lead around his neck ready to jump from the second story window with the other end of the lead out the other window crying saying he can't do this anymore I'm going to hang myself.

I opened the second window freed the cord and threw it out his window so he could jump but that was it. We were worried for his safety and I calmed him down stairs and my mum called the police round 1 of the institution a few months later he came out not fully to me the same person well he wasn't for a while anyway it was like he was lost. He was calmer but an effortless calm the meds were effecting him for sure. Then he thought everything was fine so refused to take meds and if i was in his shoes I probably do the same why would you want to keep something that changes you so much. Then round 2 followed when i lived back home i would visit every week at least twice. I tell you some days were fine but there was times I would look for him he was in gf hospital as a patient an I found him there drugged up to the last just growling and barking at people like a dog to passers by this broke me down i couldn't get why they think they are helping him if this was their fucking result 3 times I found him like this and when he came good I got my mum to release him.

Fine for a while but refused the meds again I don't blame him but he needed to understand he was sick and needed help but the world is wrong not him. so it wasn't long before he returned to so called mental institute (PRISON) they let him out for fresh air one day and he was there first escape i went looking for him and by a wierd coincidence the first stranger i asked if they new John she said he is at hers and she is buying him shoes. Now thinking about it when i showed up so soon after he escaped he must of thought what the hell how i couldn't believe my own luck. I brought him home and he signed himself back in with persuasion and stayed a while went back to gf and was released he was good because i was with him and begged him to take his meds so he did he trusted me always he turned on his best buddy Andrew my mum but always some how never me. He said my constant visits helped him through and appreciated it.

He was great for a long time so friendly still felt the tough guy but didn't act on it. Thats when he met you Grainne i think he became a great poet and we always hung out and he kept taking meds but then stopped again he's been in and out twice since then he attacked Andrew when Andrew was the reason for him being out and that really effected Andrew because he hadn't fought with John for years and had to man handle him back to the institute not what he wanted to do but had no choice what if he attacked Avril, Andrew's girlfriend or my mum what other solution was there. I've been thinking of shipping him over here with me alot but they won't help him here unless he is a resident with meds and I've a baby daughter now and what if he turned and I'm not there I'm so busy with work i'v my own business now but then he could work with me but i wonder can i help i don't understand his condition but i do understand him please can someone help him because I'm not sure if i can and if no one does i sure as well will try.

The Power of Love

2010-06-11T15:37:00.000-07:00

'The Appeal for John Hunt'; A Poignant, Powerful and Heartfelt piece by Pioneer and Poet John McCarthy

2010-06-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

I have been to visit John Hunt on more than one occasion; I visit others in the same place. It says hospital on the door it is in fact a prison. Called Carrig Mor it is in Shanikiel a beautiful leafy suburb of Cork City.

A rose by any other name!

The difference in this prison/hospital is that it is run by the Dept: of Health NOT Justice.

There is no justice in that place except power.

The power of a psychiatrist opinion is all encompassing, there is no access to a jury of your peers, to a judge, to the protection of the common law, the opposite is the truth.

John and so many others are excluded from that protection, that is all we of the Normally Mad community ask for is the protection AND censure of the common law.

The Mental Health Act of Ireland 2001 has given complete power to a treating consultant psychiatrist over John's life, he has the right to lock John up for the rest of his life.

There are so many tragic precedence to prove this fact across Ireland I proposed to RTE radio to allow me to make documentary on this it will air soon.

The story is of a girl, raped, her behaviour changed, she was sectioned(signed in) under the health law by her parents she was 17, she is celebrating her 78 th birthday soon, she is completely institutionalized, PS the man who raped her, not only was he never charged; to embarrassing for the family, but he was never diagnosed with a "mental illness" by psychiatry.

Strange that so many of the victims of abuse end up being diagnosed and labelled by psychiatry while so many of the abusers walk around in honoured positions, says so much on psychiatry's skill and ability to diagnose.

This law also gives the right to a treating psychiatrist to administer by force any or all medication they see fit, up to and including forced ECT and it is all legal under the Mental Health Act of Ireland.

Based solely on their opinion,backed up by no scientific test whatsoever.

I would challenge anybody reading this to introduce me to a psychiatrist who has ever, so much as taken their pulse to ascertain a diagnose (that leads to a label that stays with me for life, unless of course he changes his mind and gives you another), they gave me four before I realized these guys had no science whatsoever to back them up. They were in fact guessing because in the real world of science that is all they can do, guess.

So John is in great danger of being institutionalized.

He is as Dean stated suffering from severe side effects. No need for me to repeat them. I will send on another article I published on this.

His only semblance of a quasi court he has under this act is The Tribunals set up by the Mental Health Commission. These tribunals are held in secret, behind closed doors, they have the right to exclude all witnesses moral support up to and including the patients family.

This whole issue is not about, justice, law, health, mental health it is about POWER and those have been given the power of life and death over our human rights: we of the very Normally Mad Community

They are clinging onto that power with all the determination of a tiger over her cubs.

Not much longer, we are coming are we are bringing change with us.

We will force you through the public debate to change: if you have to come kicking and screaming so be it, but know this, we are sitting at that table ready to embrace you, and treat you in a much more humane fashion then you have ever treated us.

This is about the debate, and John is a victim of the present lopsided debate where those voluntary and human rights agencies who purport to speak out for us kiss the ass of the status quo.

Most of them have never visited a psychiatric gaol in their lives never spoken to a John in their lives, they really should walk away, they do nothing but harm!

To date in over 90% of cases heard by these tribunals have come down in favour of the psychiatrists OPINION of diagnoses (that fact alone is illogical and very telling around how impartial these secret Tribunals really are) .

You are in a no win situation here I have been invited by victims/patients to sit in on their behalf at a tribunal hearing, I have always been refused entry, despite the fact that the patient has made a request through her legal rep.

I sat outside a Tribunal where the Mother Father and 25 year old son of the victim/patient were refused admission.

She the patient/victim ran out of the hospital screaming "you will never drag my knickers down again and stick a needle in my ass" having been told by the secret Tribunal she was to be locked up for three months then, they would review.

The psychiatrist calmly told her elderly mother and father and I, her son ran after her,

"not to worry the staff will catch her give her something to calm her down, sorry i have another patient to see"

and he(a busy man) left them there so confused not understanding the power granted to a doctor to lock their daughter up take her freedom.

The father pleading to the doctors departing back

"I want to take my daughter home".

And the door closed.

The patient/victim is brought before this tribunal in a highly drugged state, and expected to mount a defence.

Drugging the victim/patient is all they do in these psychiatric gaols, sorry I nearly forgot the forced ECT, how remiss of me not to mention such a gift to humanity!

So John is in grave danger, in a hospital!!

His mother signed him from her love for him, and because the system of care in this country left her with no other option, we have no early intervention in this country all intervention is crisis intervention.

Now John's mother realizes she is powerless in the face of the power granted to his treating psychiatrist by the law. She cannot get her son out neither can his partner or his son they have no legal voice, no court of appeal, as any gang member, drug dealer has because these criminals have human rights . As they should, in any just society.

But not us the Normally Mad, no human rights for us.

All we have left now is the court of public opinion, YOU, of the raised voice of outrage at this gross breach of John's human rights.

The U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Disabled gives him the right to legal capacity, but we have not ratified that convention as yet.

So we are back to the court of public opinion: that is you and how you see your obligation to a fellow human being will you raise your voice to demand justice for this beautiful talented man who is being "treated" into an institutionalized zombie, by his doctors, his nurses, his doorman, his civil and public servants, his deaf public representatives.

The silence of the entire system in the face of this legal abuse is deafening!!

To those staff who whisper to me we would love to help but what can we do against the system: our jobs you know!

And then they smile weakly and walk away , it is time to tell you .

You are cowards, gutless in the face of the abuse you feed your families on.

Please look into the depths of your humanity and speak out and do it now the winds of change are blowing, history will mark all of you who remain silent, as cowards and contributors to abuse.

The law is being reviewed we have had too many John's in this country it is time to stop, one heroic whistleblower is worth a million victims voices be that hero.

I have closed my eyes;

I can see John he is a human wreak; because of the "care of a doctor".

I can smell John he stinks because of the "care of a nurse".

I can hear John his spirit is weakening because of "a caring system".

I can taste John because he kissed me when I was leaving him, crying both of us.

I can feel John because I hugged him.

Most important I can sense John in my spirit and I am the stronger for it.

Grainne you are a great woman. I know the value of that.

I am married to one, Liz, who never lost her love for me in the darkest of times.

You hold that love for John, keep him warm in your heart he will in time prosper. and grow from that love, I did.

John McCarthy.
Founder Mad Pride Ireland.

A Gorgeous Insightful Letter of Support from our friend Brian Hartnett .

2010-06-11T14:22:00.000-07:00

I first became aware of John’s situation early in 2009 when Grainne set up the Incarceration Of John Facebook site. I sent a message of support to Grainne and congratulated her on her efforts to draw attention to her partner’s plight. Grainne acknowledged my message straight away and we started to communicate on a regular basis.

I was working as a peer advocate in the Midwest at the time and was also heavily involved in Hearing Voices Ireland (HVI) which I set up in 2006, Campaign Against Suicide (CAS) based in Limerick and Renew which I had played a role in setting up.

I am a service user myself as is my partner Michelle. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1996 and Michelle has similar mental health issues so as well as working in mental health and being a service user I was also a carer. I could relate to Grainne’s situation very strongly. I had spent the last six years as a peer advocate listening to hundreds of people tell me their story of mental health difficulties and their struggle with the mental health system and life in general. I had my own ongoing battle with my illness to deal with and living with a partner with similar difficulties was not always easy.

As time went on I became friends with Grainne and both Michelle and I have visited Grainne, Josh and Hazel a good number of times in the last year. The first time I met Josh and Hazel I liked them straight away. I like kids anyway but even though the house is a happy home I quickly felt the gap in the house without John.

Every child deserves to have both parents around if possible and Josh obviously missed his father. John rings the house a lot and talks to Josh on the phone and Grainne often brings Josh up to Cork (a long journey) to visit his dad but its not the same as having John at home. The longer John is kept away from his home the longer Josh is without a father.

The first time I met John I got on with him straight away. Despite the fact that there is nearly fifteen years between us we have a lot in common. He is a free spirit, he likes music, he has had his adventures and survived. I explained as best I could about who I was and how I came to visit him in Carraig mor. I had spoken to him on the phone but at that stage he was heavily medicated and living in an enclosed space, locked away from reality I was not sure how ‘with it’ he was. I was pleasantly surprised to see that he was as ‘with it’ as most people despite his unhealthy incarceration.

Carraig mor is more like a prison than a hospital. In fact it’s worse in some ways. In a prison there is an exercise yard. In Carraig mor John does not get fresh air and exercise like every person needs. Also the tiny visiting room has both doors to inside the hospital and out locked during visits, has to be shared with other visitors, and has no access to the outdoors for smoking or fresh air. I am sure the nursing staff, who are pleasant, do the best they can under the circumstances but this facility is not properly designed for what it is being used for.

These factors combined with an over reliance on psychiatric drugs in the mental health system and johns heavy smoking habit and addiction to fizzy drinks all add up to a very unhealthy regime. John seems to be aware of the limits of what is available here but the sad thing is he does not seem to be in a position to argue against this forced incarceration. Grainne has told me of his rebellious nature and how it got him into trouble in Carraig mor. I know from experience that they don’t like any form of dissent in these places and rebellion of any kind is greeted with heavy handed enforcement which can mean extra ‘meds’ and loss of privileges. Don’t forget we are talking about a hospital here.

I believe what john needs most of all is frequent access, at least initially, to the outdoors and his family home. His health is suffering enormously under the current regime. In four years he has gone from relative health to being very unhealthy. Surely this is a sign that something is wrong. I maintain my mental health by maintaining my health in general – it should be the same for John and all ‘mental health’ patients. Simply dosing up a human being with drugs is not the answer. A person needs to work on a broad spectrum of fronts to maintain health in mind, body and soul.

Another thing John needs is rehabilitation over a long period of time. John need to be reintroduced to the outside world as a matter of urgency. In particular he needs to spend more time, alone, with his partner Grainne and son Josh. Instead of a long term plan for this Carrickmore seem to have thrown away the key and said there is no more we can do. This is just a cop out. A lot of what could be done would not cost anything extra. In fact it would even save money in the long run. So to say that they cannot afford it is not good enough. The fact of the matter is John’s treatment and long term incarceration shows an underlying arrogant and negative attitude towards such patients and a lack of commitment to effective long term care.

Michelle and I will continue to support Grainne, John, Josh and Hazel in any way we can. I wish John in particular luck on his journey and call on the people who are in control of Carraig mor to pull their socks up and start a process that will bring John home for once and for all.

Brian Hartnett

June 2010

"It had been ignorance that had led me into the horrific world of psychiatry and now knowledge was leading me out" - Mary Maddock

2010-06-11T14:19:00.000-07:00

A powerful post about John's situation from Mary Maddock

2010-06-10T16:06:00.000-07:00

John is a living example of how toxic chemicals and incarceration can destroy a person's body and spirit.

I met John in Carrigmore concentration camp! and also at Josh's christening. He was quite similar to myself when I attended Claire's christening all those years ago. He was there physically but also far away and not able to be part of the loving community of people who were present.

This is a crime against humanity. How can taking away that which is most precious to all of us, our insight, love, understanding, creativity and most of all our freedom do any good? It leaves a trail of destruction behind it.
This has to STOP. We need to shout it from the mountain tops! STOP, STOP, STOP............................................

An old post from Andrew, John's brother. It has all been heart-breaking for his brothers.

2010-06-10T15:57:00.000-07:00

Hi grainne andrew here. i finally sat down to read all these comments and i know exactly how you feel about going into carraig mor me being his brother and someone who suffers from claustrophobia (fear of being in enclosed spaces) find it hard to go into visit john as i have to deal with his pleading with me to get him out and being locked in a room too. I know how much it hurts to see what the meds are doing to him as when we were growing up john and i were very close in all the mischief and trouble we got into i believed everything he told me. Reading all these comments have made me want to go into the hospital and just get him out. But the docs wont let that happen... So i'm going to see what i can do about weaning him off the drugs and moving him some where that doesn't rely on medication. (E.G.)http://www.foodforthebrain.org/content.asp?id_Content=1721
These guy's believe by using just food and counselling you can help the brain back to normal. xxx andy

Precious - Depeche Mode

2010-06-10T15:20:00.000-07:00

Precious and fragile things
Need special handling
My God what have we done to You?

We always try to share
The tenderest of care
Now look what we have put You through...

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

Angels with silver wings
Shouldn't know suffering
I wish I could take the pain for You

If God has a master plan
That only He understands
I hope it's Your eyes He's seeing through

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

I pray You learn to trust
Have faith in both of us
And keep room in Your heart for two

Things get damaged
Things get broken
I thought we'd manage
But words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

My Letter to the Irish Mental Health Commission

2010-06-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Patricia,

Please can you let me know how I go about making a complaint on behalf of my partner John Hunt. John has been detained in Carraig Mor for over four years now. Myself and John's family are unhappy that we have no voice in relation to John and I wish to dispute the claim that he is a danger to others. He experiences anger and frustration as a valid response to four years of forced treatment. He has missed the first years of our son's childhood.

I also wish to state that the approved centre where he is detained is failing to align with Section 3 (1) (b) (ii) the reception, detention and treatment of the person concerned in an approved centre would be likely to benefit or alleviate the condition of that person to a material extent. John has deteriorated, if anything, both physically and mentally (but especially physically) since being detained in Carraig Mor. I would also like to point out that there is no therapeutic care plan, rehabilitation team or psychologist in the centre.

My main concern is that John has developed incontinence due to liver/ kidney damage due to over-medicating. His health is at risk. He is 29 years old.

Surely this is in breach of Human Rights ARTICLE 3: No one shall be subjected to torture or to inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

John's family and myself cannot stand by and see our loved one be destroyed any longer. Please help us to help John.

Yours sincerely, Grainne Humphrys.

To whom it may concern,

Who do I write to about an abuse of human rights? A young man's health is being put into serious jeopardy.

Yours sincerely,
Grainne Humphrys

http://freejohn-loverevolutionary.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-visit-to-see-john-hunt-by-dean-smith.html

Just to add to my above letter. My experience of John is that he has been a victim of violence throughout his life, not a perpetrator of it. He is more vulnerable than violent. Please help us to help John get well. He's not getting well in Carraig Mor.

A Beautiful and Heartfelt Letter to John from Erica van den Akker

2010-06-10T04:57:00.000-07:00

Dear John,

I did receive your message from my friend Dean Smith and I am sorry that I have to say that your story made me so sad. You don’t know me, but I will try to explain who I am. I met Dean because I was about to lose my job as a psychiatric social worker in a forensic institute in the Netherlands. He, and many others, supported me during my trial against the “system’ and I can tell you that I won the case. Thnx to all my friends, “patients”( I refuse to call my friends like that), social workers, and even some psychiatrists.

Now about what I heard about you. As I said, it not only made me sad, it also made me angry. I have the fortune to never have experienced a trauma in my life and that is one of the reasons why I am the person who I am right now. But it still seems that most mental health “care” takers don’t seem to understand that only a trauma is the thin line between “them” and “us”. ( I prefer to say between all of us…)

I have heard about your trauma’s and heard about the way the system tries to keep you away from the people you love. Also keep you away from yourself, because of the medications they are giving you. It makes me so sad that psychiatrists still don’t want to listen to what you are saying, but telling you what is “good for you’ instead of having a good discussion with you. I know what it means when they don’t take the time to talk to listen……..I have never seen that medication clears the pain caused by trauma’s, I have never seen anyone recover with meds… I have learned from my friends and the persons I was allowed to help during my professional career, that taking care, empathy and taking time to listen are the answers to trauma’s and psychiatric needs. I refuse to call you “ill”, I also refuse to call you chronic, deviant, impulsive etc. I am glad that you have your own opinion, just very sad that you are not allowed to express that opinion. If only one responsible “care ’taker ( I refuse to call most of them “care” takers, because they seem to not take care…) would take the time to listen, that might change the world for you and for all of us.

I know this is a short letter, but I have no idea how you feel by my words, that is why I keep it short. Whenever you want to “talk” more, you are more than welcome to contact me!

I will keep you in my prayers and wish you strength and wisdom

Erica van den Akker

Profound Insights and Emotional Honesty from Michelle

2010-06-10T04:22:00.000-07:00

Moving and Powerful Words of Truth, Pure Emotional Honesty and Passion from the Brilliant Michelle Prenderville; Extracts from an inspired letter.

What psychiatry needs to evaluate, investigate and question is their own mental attitude and maybe to listen and ask themselves the very same questions that they are asking “patients” to see if there is any direct correlation between the patient and the doctor’s questions on his/her own mentality.

Where the written next of kin, is seen by the psychiatrists to be mentally competent when signing their name and consent on involuntary paper forms - because of the common assumption that the next of kin is a person that knows more about, and is more “concerned” about the patients welfare.

Sedatives and/or open dialogue… for example, “I’m here for the night-shift, let’s talk, we’ll grab a cup of tea, have you enough fags? Smoke alarm, you’re grand, what’s after happening to you, why are you in shock, it’s OK to be in shock, it’s a human reaction to an insane situation. I can see you’re in shock, and it’s OK to say that you want to deny it, so I’ll give you all night to discuss whatever it is that brought you here tonight. Let’s go into this nice warm, comfortable room, I can leave the lights on for you. You’re safe here, don’t worry, we’ll try our best here for you. Take a seat of your choice and well done for reaching out.”

Self-realisation or/and being placated, patronized, coerced into suggested mental incompetence in a social framework and “presumed” and socially suggested induced behavioral difficulties?

Sedated to simplicity? Or sedated by choice to simplicity? Or/and sedated by choice to avoid being looked upon, to be a “compliant by staff” (for an easier life).

“Oh, he/she was not compliant on their medication”?
Toxic withdrawal and realisation of awareness and basic human stimulus, thus seeing clarity into basic human emotions - anger, and this anger being analysed as a reactive state of psychosis, then kicking and screaming - “waking up all the rest of the patients” to yet again, inevitably drug-induced comfortable numbness?

Creative Art and Music and Literature robbed off patients.

“So-and-so was angry today, she/he declined to tell me, the real reason, behind her/his admission” - Staff member report, when in actual fact, that staff member could have had that patient waiting for half an hour out in the foyer, while the patient could hear their name and character being bandied around in the admission office by that same staff member and other staff members, to which the patient is then “beckoned to the office” and left sitting there “until we get your files”, then asked questions that as patients know don’t correlate with their currant state of health and on-going well-being to which the patients get despondent because that very same staff member “enjoys” “in attitude” their admission, year after year - to which after a prolonged mental prejudice by that staff member to that patient, the patient then reacts to her/his redundant attitude of which is then viewed as “anger” and “hostility” towards a member of staff.

Isolated men and women living in sub-standard bedsit accommodation on rent allowance.

The “referral” system of elderly men and women being referred by the psychiatric consultant doctor to go to a nursing home. Basically, that’s where elderly men and women who have been in prolonged psychiatric “care” are referred into nursing homes as an almost “end of the line” treatment package because of the assumption that “they cannot look after themselves at home” because of their prolonged “stays” in and out of “psychiatric care” for years.

Religion?
Prayer?
Abandonment?
Voices or gifted?
High IQ or “learned difficulties - assumption”.
From ritual on the hour rounds of medication.
Mania or enlightened
Mental prejudice???
Employers, from young, vibrant, friendly to overworked, de-valued, under-paid and always on call, industrious people, tormented by management and all colleagues alike. By “knowing him” and by “knowing her” on an informal community basis???
Interrogation by matriarchal matron-like minded “carrying the keys” staff, jealous of creative, idealistic, talented and full of insight young people.
Over-worked, fatigued, bullied “hands are tied” staff???
Dementia induced women and men by prescription medication.

Aggression or probed by suggestion to outbreak and reaction to heavy “comfortable” drug inducement.
Paranoia? Clients being monitored by the staff, inducing further complaints of paranoia to doctors of paranoid related “symptoms” to then doctors giving even yet again more meds? - BECAUSE OF THE DOCTOR’S BIAS OPINION.

“Oh, he/she was not compliant on their medication”?
Toxic withdrawal and realisation of awareness and basic human stimulus, thus seeing clarity into basic human emotions - anger, and this anger being analysed as a reactive state of psychosis, then kicking and screaming - “waking up all the rest of the patients” to yet again, inevitably drug-induced comfortable numbness?

Over-medicated, bright, artistic, enthusiastic, young and intelligent, caring and compassionate teenagers?

A Beautiful video, made by our friend Brian Hartnett, on retreat at Mount Melleray in Co. Waterford.

2010-06-10T03:44:00.000-07:00

Retreats and being with good friends is often the best medicine in life.

Only Love... Only Love can... leave such a mark... but Only Love... Only Love can... heal such a scar

2010-06-09T17:34:00.000-07:00

Magnificent
Magnificent

I was born
I was born to be with you
In this space and time
After that and ever after I haven't had a clue
Only to break rhyme
This foolishness can leave a heart black and blue

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

I was born
I was born to sing for you
I didn’t have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice
From the womb my first cry, it was a joyful noise…

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
The Magnificent
Magnificent

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love unites our hearts

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
The Magnificent
Magnificent
Magnificent

If we didn't laugh, we'd cry!

2010-06-09T17:23:00.000-07:00

Myself and John met at a comedy night held in Future Forests on the 11th December, 2004. 'Roots Revelation Sound System' also played that night. We love to have a good laugh and we share a love of comedy. I miss our laughs.

Acknowledging What Is - Bert Hellinger

2010-06-09T17:01:00.000-07:00

My training and work with Family Constellations in the Family Soul, the Energy Field, the Knowing Field has been too profound to put words on. It is the Language of the Soul. It was a privilege to Serve the Soul and to bow down was humbling.

Made for John with Love

2010-06-09T16:37:00.001-07:00

An EleMental Ireland video I made; video footage taken by Brian Hartnett when he came to stay with me and starring Joshua!

2010-06-09T16:29:00.000-07:00

Guest appearances from Smudge, our cat and Tiva, our dog!

Calling You - Jeff Buckley

2010-06-09T16:05:00.001-07:00

Everywhere John and myself went, he got told he was the image of Jeff Buckley. Perhaps they are related?! Jeff's Father's family came from County Cork but, then again, John was born in Greystones, Co. Wicklow. Anyway, John is definitely Jeff's doppleganger, uncannily alike, both sensitive and beautiful souls. But John will hopefully live till he's an old man as I have plans to drive off into the sunset with him...

Myself and John miss hitting the dancefloor together. We loved dancing!!

2010-06-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

Let Me Emerge by Grainne Humphrys

2010-06-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

Let me emerge with my gift of wisdom
Mysterious experience, a seed in dark soil
I come back from the underworld bearing gifts for the soul
I know how to shine light in a dark place
How to navigate through deep waters
I know how to midwife emotions
I speak the tongues of madness, psychosis
I know the terrains of sadness, hidden meanings, metaphors
I have re-drawn the map of my inner landscape
Transformation, transition
I am shedding skins of inhibitions
I meditate in the holy hedgerow
I died and came back to life
Resuscitated by mother love, unconditional
I can guide you back to light
Deliverance, redemption, grace, my epiphany
I am born again, inside out.

The Care of the Soul.

2010-06-09T02:40:00.000-07:00

The Heroic Journey - Dark Night of the Soul

2010-06-09T02:33:00.001-07:00

'Dark Night of the Soul' and 'Care of the Soul' - more from Thomas Moore interview.

2010-06-09T02:22:00.000-07:00

“… the end result is not a final victory nor an end to suffering. It is a moral development, the result of an initiation in which the mysteries of life stamp themselves into you more deeply, not necessarily making life easier or happier, but allowing it to take place more intensely. You are more fully who you are. You engage life more energetically and in that engagement discover a level of meaning that dissolves any discontent you may have. In other words, a dark night of the soul can heal, where healing means being more alive and more present to the world around you. It heals by opening you up, sometimes to the point where you might feel dismembered. It opens the doorway between you and the world.” - From Dark Nights of the Soul

This is the kind of initiation language I look for in great writers. I resonate with it as a reader. So what advice does Moore have for aspiring writers?

“I would say that the key is to be loyal to the voice that speaks to you,” he counseled. “Yeats said that we have two selves: the one self, and then an antithetical self that moves against what we want - that’s the one that inspires ideas and form. The first thing people have to give up is the ego stuff. I run into artists and musicians so eager for success that they can’t hear the muse. You’re got to get yourself in a situation where you can listen, and then move. C.G. Jung talks about the anima and animus as a deeper sense of who we are. It’s the aspiring spirit that gives life to the intellect and keeps it from being just a mind and a set of ideas. Creativity comes from an erotic and moist place within ourselves. That’s where I get the love of words and where the sensuality meets the ideas.”

I’d heard once that great art was a great idea greatly expressed.

“Great art is the ordinary idea expressed as the beautiful ordinary,” he stated emphatically. “I favor the ordinary rather than the extraordinary. I don’t go for great ideas. I go for whatever ideas are already present. I take whatever comes.”

“As a therapist, I am careful not to offer false means of escape from impasses and relationship binds. I am in the business of caring for the soul, not engineering a person’s life. It’s tempting to become the hero and savior, but getting life in apparent order is not the same as giving the soul what it needs. It may need more chaos, deeper impasse, and increased darkness.” - From Dark Nights of the Soul

Dark Nights of the Soul is one of the meatier books I’ve read. I don’t think it’s for the beginner or the faint of heart.

Extracts from a wonderful interview with Thomas Moore, author of Dark Night of the Soul and Care of the Soul.

2010-06-09T02:16:00.000-07:00

“There’s a fundamental need for initiation,” he declared. “Yet the process of initiation varies, I think, from one person to another. People talk about having learning experience where they take something they can conceptualize and put into words. Initiation is an experience that so effects you that you’re a slightly different person than before. It’s not a matter of “learning,” it’s more of a chemical thing. It’s more of a change of nature than any kind of intellectual achievement.”

“Flight from the dark infantilizes your spirituality, because the dark nights of the soul are supposed to initiate you into spiritual adulthood. You have to be exceptionally alert in the sphere of religion, because, for all its beauty and substance, it can be full of traps. Even those who perpetrate religious nonsense don’t seem to be aware of what they are doing, and that makes it only more difficult for the susceptible seeker of spiritual wisdom. You have to use your intelligence every step of the way.” From Dark Nights Of The Soul

Moore quotes C.G. Jung often in his books, but refuses to be pinned down as a “Jungian.” I asked about how initiation works with Jung’s transcendental function.

“… it’s the attempt to reconcile one’s conscious life with the rich fruitful material that is not part of the conscious life,” Moore said. “Jung refers to the transcendental function by discussing symbols. It takes some kind of symbolic or imagistic experience to achieve this change where your life becomes bigger than it was before. You gather more of that unconscious life and make it more available to the conscious. That’s the role of initiation. It is an experience you get from set up conditions like college, or graduation, or you might go on an Outward Bound course, or go into the mountains, or a vision quest. [Or a ManKind Project weekend.] Another way experience comes is unbidden. You don’t seek them out, but they come and they become the occasion for initiation … the dark nights of the soul, the rites of passage … it’s not something you seek as a kind of initiatory experience, it’s something that happens to you, and you stay with it, and you don’t defend against it - then it becomes an initiation.”

In this modern world, so many grow up without the presence of a father or a tribe of elders to facilitate a man’s initiation. How did Moore do?

“My father was always the key person in my life,” Moore stated. “I got my elder blessings from him. He’s 92. He’s still important in my life.”

Moore’s father was a plumber, and a teacher of plumbing. Young Thomas Moore was the first in his family to go to college.

“My dad was a teacher most of his life,” he remembered. “He was a born teacher. All my life he was very, very conscious of teaching me, and not just the facts in school … he knew a lot about initiation. He knew what was important and he went out of his way to make sure I knew. When I was 11 or 12 years-old, he had the job of trying to fix a plumbing problem at the county morgue in Detroit, Michigan. He had designed a curved vacuum pipe at the end of the autopsy table. The workers had been hanging their coats on the pipe so the vacuum wouldn’t work and the water from the autopsy table was getting into the drinking water. He was called down to see what the problem was. On that occasion, he invited me to join him. He went ahead to check it out first and then he took me through a tour of the morgue. We went into the room full of bodies. My dad talked to me about the bodies in the room. At that time, for me, this was a descent into the underworld if ever there was one. He knew it was important for me to have that experience at that age.”

“In many traditional cultures a person becomes an adult by hearing the secret stories of the community that have been handed down over generations. Elders give instructions, teaching the elements of ritual and art. Black Elk describes this process in detail in his memoirs of growing up in the Oglala Sioux. Sometimes the neophyte has to endure ordeals designed to draw out the adult. The point is to stir the young person so deeply that he or she experiences a major transformation of character. If the father seems absent in families today, that may be because he is absent as a soul figure in society at large. - From Care of the Soul.

In Dark Nights of the Soul Moore quotes C.G. Jung, the father of modern psychology, when he began making a tiny model village from blocks and stones.

“The small boy is still around, and possesses a creative life which I lack …. This moment was a turning point in my fate, but I gave in only after endless resistances and with a sense of resignation. For it was a painfully humiliating experience to realize that there was nothing to be done except play childish games.”

Moore continued in his book: “James Hillman says that we have to find a way neither to romanticize nor reject this child quality of the soul, to sense both its promise and its shame. This is an important point: If you don’t feel some shame, as Jung did, in the child’s inferiority, you are probably caught up more in your idealized notion of the child than in the child spirit itself. The feeling of inferiority that often accompanies the child archetype is not necessarily negative. It can keep you humble and let your creativity flow without interference from an ego desperate for fame and accomplishment.”

The lack of masculine influence in the American home is “a very huge problem,” according to Moore.

“We see it in the way the world is going now,” he said. “We see our leaders not knowing the difference between having personal power of heart, and soul, and mind - instead they’re thinking that power has to do with weaponry and violence. Or it’s about power in business, where to be a patriarch it means to lord it over everybody else or by stealing from others. We have a terrible crisis. In my work, I have always tried to speak for the patriarchy and to redefine patriarchy. We need the father stuff, not only in our families, but in business and politics. It’s related to many other things. We also need the mother stuff along with other figures. It’s all related. We have quite a superficial society, and it’s a shame. We have allowed it to become this way. Just look at television or movies and see what level we’re living at … far from the depth of grounding for what it means to be a person.”

“If you don’t reconnect with certain phases of your childhood, you may find yourself living out that segment of your personal myth in your adult life. Many people seem stuck in a specific phase of their personal history, and it is that intruding piece of personal narrative that gets in the way of their leading a creative existence. Their long dark night is due to being stuck at a certain level of development.” From Dark Nights of the Soul

As strong an advocate as I was with him regarding the need for tribal initiation rites, Moore stuck to his guns.

“We can’t set up a program of change,” he insisted. “I don’t think it works that way. We each have individual gifts and callings. If we’re loyal to our talents, forcefully and publicly, there’s a possibility that things can change. There are many good people in education who teach, but in most cases, teachers and administrators are focused on information and training. They don’t know how to teach. So young people don’t get this culture of paedeia, a Greek word for the full education of a person into the human community, which is the education of their heart, of their own being. If we each did what we could in our own way, we’d have a chance. I don’t trust a big movement.”

“Love is a dark night. Dark nights are largely about love. Once you give up the bright light of consciousness and understanding, you may discover that you can be in this world in a darker way, living by love and desire rather than by rationality and control. You don’t give up your intellect, but you allow love its natural dominance.” From Dark Nights of the Soul

I was very excited after reading Moore’s most recent book, Dark Nights of the Soul, because I thought he was so rooted in Jungian psychology. After talking with him for an hour, Moore was still unrelenting about being labeled.

“I’m not a Jungian,” he declared. “I read him all the time, but the doesn’t make me a Jungian. I read Pinter but that doesn’t make me a Pinterian I resist the labels. I was a Catholic and that is that. One religion at a time for me. I don’t need another orthodoxy, or another pope. For many people Jung has become a Pope.”

I confess I am among the Jungian throngs.

“I like the Catholic religion,” he continued. “I consider it a living thing. And, I don’t have to do what the pope is telling me. I’m out of all that. I think religion is a very deep soul experience as opposed to an organizational experience. For me, my religion is very real and rich. I keep going back to it and being quite excited about it. It has, however, made me wary of any kind of system that says join us. I was born into Catholicism and I’m still rooted in it. Yet, I love to speak in churches and spiritual communities of every possible type.”

For Moore, a person’s development or evolvement is not about “balance.”

“You’ll never find the word balance in any of my work. I don’t look for balance, I look for inclusion with the dominant and the weak. Weakness is valuable. I expect life to be out of balance. I prefer an out of balance life. I really don’t want to strengthen what’s weak. To me it’s attempting to reduce … to make is simpler than it is … that’s not the best way. That’s not my muse.”

Where does Moore stand on Men’s Work? He talked about James Hillman, his friend and mentor.

“There are many ways to deal with shadow,” he explained. “There’s a fiery place and there are also other ways. There are dangers in only dealing heroically or courageously with shadow. After awhile, it can create a kind of hyper-masculinity. James is a tough character. He’s strong and forceful, kind of fiery. I’m not. I’m a Libra. It’s just not my nature to be gutsy, and dark, and shady. I’ve had men come to me and say they were disappointed that I didn’t have darker shadows … to be more of a brute. I tried to tell them there are different ways to get to the point. I’m not artificial. That’s not who I am. I am strong in my own way. I would get mad when they said that and think, ‘Who are you to say I’m not doing it in the way you want? What are you accomplishing? Show me that I should change.’ So, I think there are different routes. I don’t think courage is the only route. It depends on what one is called to do. One way might be humor Or Eros might be another way. Beauty could be a route. Nature could be a route. There are many ways to address this weakened male patriarchy. It’s multifaceted. There’s no such thing as one father. There’s many fathers. The archetypal father doesn’t exist in one person. You’ll never run into the totality of the archetype on the street.”

“Some people believe the images of normality and maintain the secret of their family's corruption, wishing they had been born elsewhere in a land of bliss. But recovery of soul begins when we can take to heart our own family fate and find in it the raw material, the alchemical prima materia, for our own soul work.” From Care of the Soul.

Moore said he bristles when someone tells him he has a “strong feminine side.”

“Men can have these feelings,” he emphasized. “This is a man. This is not my feminine speaking. You get a man. I’m a male human being. Don’t make me into something else. That’s an affront to my being. This is my original self. Gender is not a thing in itself. You don’t meet a male or female on the street, you meet an aspect of a person with the gender embodied in the way of that individual. I like to talk about gender as a quality of the individual. I address mixed audiences of men and women … if there’s 100 people out there, then there are 100 genders. It’s always artificial if you take it away from the individual. I’d rather talk about people.”

Moore said he has consciously taken a “sweet approach” to life.

“Marsilio Ficino (1433-1499) wrote a great deal about the soul. I get a lot of my ideas from him. He did recommend a rather sweet approach to life and was doing it in the midst of great struggles, battles, threats to his own life, and friends being poisoned by the ?Borgias? He was an Epicurean. He looked for the deep solid pleasure in life, no matter what was going on. I do that. I think beauty, good music, good food, and good friends are very important. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have to be tough, or end friendships, or break relationships, or get divorced. But sweetness is still important. It’s important to be civil. It doesn’t mean there aren’t times to be mean, angry, and say mean things and break relationships. Sometime you have to do that to stay in the tension. As a therapist I try to remain in the tension as long as possible. I have a nose for it. I have a feel for it. I rarely take the sentimental side. Sentimentality is not the same as sweet. I think there are times I am misunderstood to be that way. I understand that people won’t always get the whole.”

And the ultimate goal?

“It’s to be alive. That’s it. The ultimate thing is to be alive. We come into this life, take a breath, and live. Take it in. Take a big inhale. Die when it’s time, but not before your time. Society is set up on Freud’s death principle. We define all kinds of ways not to live. We make sure children stay in school the rest of their lives, we make sure that some people are not dancing, there’s no alcohol, no life … they say let’s get out there and praise our heroes who are dying. We love our soldiers who are dying, but they don’t care for the beings who are living. ‘Soul” means breath … or to live. The care of the soul means to take your breath in, and live.” Check out www.careofthesoul.net

009 Sound System - Space and Time

2010-06-09T01:43:00.000-07:00

I remember in the space and time
And I remember what we were like
All the matter was synthesized

Yeah I remember when the future died
And all the rain will keep it dark
Because of why Im so alone

Oh give me that,
let me change,
I take my love,
a higher place,
the matter of fact,
dont matter why? Its alright.

We could be,
only this time,
reaching back,
across the line,
you and me,
never asking why? Alright

Fake Plastic Trees - Radiohead

2010-06-09T01:24:00.000-07:00

One of my and John's favourite bands.

Wiggle - a Dub-Reggae Band from Cork

2010-06-09T01:04:00.001-07:00

http://www.myspace.com/wigglewww

If Anyone Wants to Write John a Letter of Hope, or Give him a Call, here are his Contact Details;

2010-06-09T00:09:00.000-07:00

JOHN HUNT
GROUND FLOOR
CARRAIG MOR TREATMENT CENTRE
SHANAKIEL
LEE ROAD
CORK
IRELAND

Alternatively you can ring him on 021-4921460 (male ward) and ask for John Hunt. After 6pm is the best time to phone him.

Gadjo - Fish

2010-06-09T00:00:00.001-07:00

Halo by Beyonce

2010-06-08T10:28:00.001-07:00

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
Halo, halo

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Victims and Perpetrators/ Soul Work

2010-06-08T07:41:00.001-07:00

I have observed this dynamic between psychiatric nursing staff and patients in Carraig Mor.

Free John Campaign

2010-06-08T04:33:00.001-07:00

Moving Away from the Psychiatric Paradigm by Grainne Humphrys

2010-06-08T03:47:00.000-07:00

This is a talk I gave at UCC - University College Cork - to Applied Social Studies students. It is published on Beyond Meds aswell.

Moving Away from the Psychiatric Paradigm; The Importance of Supports and the Emergence of the Wellness Models.

By Grainne Humphrys

Good supports are crucial for people in distress. People with good supports usually fare better than those with little or no supports. What does this say? It indicates that as human-beings we are interdependent. However our western culture and society promote independence and the modern bio-medical mental health system, with it’s professional barriers and reliance on medication as the sole solution, promotes distance and dependence. Neither is healthy. What we need to strive for is compassion and interdependence.

Peer support aims to strike this balance with it’s emphasis on interdependence as a core value. Wellness models, like Renew (formed here in Ireland) promote wellness, recovery and thriving. These models go beyond recovery to making thriving a reality. These approaches are led by an underpinning philosophy that mental and emotional distress is a human experience which should not be used to define an individual, nor does it warrant a medical label.

Here are the value statements of Renew;

We believe that the experience of psycho-spiritual distress is fundamentally a healing and renewal process and not an illness. Renewal is an ongoing process and a natural part of life. Illness is created by the ways in which we mismanage our distress.

We believe in supporting each other to find methods and resources that will help us through our experience of distress. We can find opportunities not only to grow and recover but to thrive.

Renewal is about reclaiming our personal power, cultivating our awareness and connecting with our own inner wisdom. Healing is aided by trying to make sense of our distress and life experiences.

We believe in interdependence. Isolation and stigmatizing often accompany experiences of distress. Parts of the journey can be very difficult. We can give each other strength by sharing our friendship, experience and hope. Renew is a caring community of equals.

We aim to connect with others in our communities that broadly support the common values stated here. These may be people who can offer health or caring services. In addition we hope that this contact will work towards removing the unwarranted fear and stigma that is attached to people in distress.

Renewal is best supported with attention to all facets of our being; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

We foster awareness of the barriers preventing wellness and thriving.
Renewal is a process involving breakdown, breakthrough, and break-out.

The biggest barriers we have to overcome are fear, discrimination and prejudice. The wall of silence that many experience and encounter in society fuels this fear. People in distress are still very much misunderstood. In the words of John Weir Perry “I really do feel ‘chronic schizophrenia’ is created by society’s negative response to what is actually a perfectly natural and healthy process.”

New emerging groups like Renew view distress as this natural process that it indeed is; as transformational crisis and as a process of renewal. We are a growing collective of visionaries who call for the non-medicalisation of human suffering. We view madness as meaningful. We challenge coercion and reject the reductionism of biochemical/ genetic theories of distress. We are unhappy that very often the emphasis is on mental ill health rather than wellness and the fact that the services remain predominantly medical model. We want to move away from the psychiatric paradigm. We campaign against de-humanizing ‘treatments’, like ECT, for example.

I can now bring in a more personal strand in saying a little about my own experience and journey through depression, or sadness and terror and my partner John’s experience and journey through schizophrenia, or altered states and extreme states of mind.

My experience was responded to in a wellness context whereas John’s was responded to in an illness context. My supports were very good and strong and many, John didn’t have any supports. My experience was responded to with Love, John’s experience was responded to with Fear.

My experience was viewed as transformational crisis and as process of renewal by my family and by supportive friends of my family. I was fortunate in that I was taken to a progressive psychiatrist who supported these views. My family were tolerant, loving and patient. They, and everyone around me, fed me with a diet of hope. John was signed into hospital, put under section, told he had a ‘chemical imbalance’ and told he would need medication for the rest of his life. In short, he was given no hope and hope is vital and integral to the recovery process.

It took me three years to fully recover from my experience and go on to thrive without any medication and without any further need for the mental health services, though I continued with psychotherapy. It is ten years ago this year since my breakdown (breakthrough, break out!) John has been involved with the mental health services for over seven years and has to date spent over four years incarcerated in Carraig Mor treatment centre, (the last two without release) is on four different meds (with debilitating adverse effects) including a depot shot and is described as ‘chronic’ by the consultant psychiatrist. He has experienced profound lonliness, isolation, terror and an array of disturbing side-effects from the major neuroleptic medications, such as, turning bright yellow from liver damage, akathasia (severe restlessness) tardive dyskinesia/ involuntary movement in his jaw, he suffers from extreme dizziness, severe anxiety and all his teeth have rotted due to the continuous use of largactil. There is no rehabilitation team in place for long-term residents. John very often just spends his days sleeping off the effects of the medications. He has been merely maintained and contained.

However I am pleased to say that he seems to have turned a corner just recently but it has been a long haul. I often wish there had been better supports in place for John so he could have gone through his experience in a more humane environment. Sadly and shockingly, John’s story is the story of many young people who have had trauma in their childhoods and then have an overwhelming experience in response to that trauma and then find themselves trapped in the net that is bio-psychiatry. I was fortunate to be priviliged with an education and a financially and emotionally supportive background when I had my crisis. Our socio-economic background can deeply influence the response we get to our experience of crisis. My Mother was empowered enough to question the so-called experts and protect me from becoming maintained and contained, John’s Mother gave her power away to the ‘professionals’ who care less about John and more about protecting their position.

I need to clarify that the level of trauma that John endured as a child was far more severe that what I went through, so his coping strategy was more extreme. I come from the more typically common ‘enmeshed family’ system whereas John comes from the less frequent ‘highly defensive’ family system. All these factors are so often over-looked yet they are central to the root cause/ underlying trauma. It seems tragic to me that those who need the most support in society very often get the least. Our society fails to acknowledge trauma survivors and would rather label and pathologise human distress. We don’t like to look trauma in the eye. Why do you think this is? Just a question to be thinking about. we need to ask ourselves; why, as a society, are we so afraid of the full emotional experience? Why are we conditioned to devalue our inner emotional life, as children?

John now views his experience through the ‘illness’ lens whereas I view mine through the ‘wellness‘ lens. However, I do believe that each person has their own way of interpreting their experience and making sense of it based on their given set of circumstances. I respect that everyone has their own journey through. My point though is that the response one gets to their distress may influence how it becomes integrated, processed and interpreted into one’s experience. To my mind the illness model takes longer to disentangle oneself from than the wellness model, because of the added layers of medication and pseudo-science which denies the original trauma. As I state in my ‘Acknowledging The Survivor’ paper, the trauma survivor is silenced three times; firstly by their family, secondly by society and thirdly by bio-psychiatry.

Carraig Mor Report - Inspectorate of Mental Health Services

2010-06-08T03:41:00.001-07:00

John is a long-term 'resident' on the Ground Floor of Carraig Mor 'Treatment Centre'.

Carraig Mór was a two-storey unit in the grounds of the former Our Lady’s Hospital. It was surrounded by extensive grounds and a pitch-and-putt course. The Ground Floor unit functioned as a psychiatric intensive care unit (PICU), and had been open since 2002. It operated a tertiary service, accepting admissions from other catchments in Cork. There were 11 residents in the Ground Floor unit on the day of inspection, six of whom were detained. There was one consultant psychiatrist with a special interest in forensic psychiatry who had clinical responsibility for this unit and an additional consultant psychiatrist. Occupational therapy and social work were shared services from the North Lee Mental Health Services. Upstairs the First Floor unit was a continuing care unit with sessional input from four general adult psychiatrists. The residents in this unit were long stay. There was no rehabilitation input and the unit operated as a continuing care unit.

PROGRESS ON RECOMMENDATIONS IN THE 2008 APPROVED CENTRE REPORT
1.There should be a rehabilitation team appointed to the service. All residents on the First Floor should have needs assessment completed and appropriate accommodation provided in community-based settings.

OUTCOME: THIS HAD NOT BEEN ACHIEVED

2. Funding should be made available to recruit a clinical psychologist.

OUTCOME: NO PSYCHOLOGIST HAD BEEN RECRUITED.

3. Funding should be made available to ensure that ongoing maintenance and refurbishment of the approved centre was undertaken.

OUTCOME: THIS HAD BEEN ACHIEVED.

4. The plans to upgrade safety in relation to the visitors room should proceed without delay and the service needs to consider options in relation to possible future use of seclusion.

OUTCOME: THE VISITORS ROOM WAS NOW ONLY USED FOR VISITORS.

5. Integrated care plans for each resident containing the resident’s multidisciplinary team care plan and where all disciplines can access and record their interventions need to be introduced.

OUTCOME: THIS HAD NOT BEEN ACHIEVED ON THE FIRST FLOOR. RESINDENTS ON THE GROUND FLOOR HAD INTEGRATED CARE PLANS.

Page 15...

First Floor: There was no integrated care plan. There was a nursing care plan. The activity nurse documented in the clinical file. There were regular team meetings.

Ground Floor: Residents had integrated care plans that were reviewed frequently. It was not clear which multidisciplinary team members attended the meetings as there was no attendance record. Most of the plans reviewed had no written input from team members other than medical and nursing staff. There were also comprehensive nursing care plans.

BREACH: ARTICLE 15

Page 16...

First Floor: Although there were therapeutic activities available, these were not linked to an integrated care plan.

Ground Floor: Residents had access to a therapeutic programme which was run by two activities nurses. There did not appear to be a documented link between an individual’s care plan and a therapeutic programme.

BREACH: ARTICLE 16

Page 19...

First Floor: There was a system in place to ensure that six-monthly physical reviews took place. However one resident had had no physical review for over a year.

Ground Floor: Most of the residents in Ground Floor were resident for longer than six months. All the files reviewed indicated that a physical health review had taken place and was in date. There was no mechanism for facilitating national screening programmes as they applied to residents.

BREACH: ARTICLE 19 (1)(b) AND ARTICLE 19 (1)(c).

Page 21...

First Floor: Single rooms were available. There were curtains around beds and the toilets were lockable.

Ground Floor: There were no partition curtains in the male dormitory. This was a temporary situation as the curtains had been sent for alterations following a change in the railings. This was expected to be rectified within a week. Bathrooms did not have locks and a member of staff attended outside the room while residents bathed.

BREACH: ARTICLE 21

Page 25...

First Floor: CCTV was not in operation.

Ground Floor: CCTV cameras were located in the visitors’ room and in the female smoking room. There was no sign announcing its use in the visitors room. The monitor was located in the nurses’ office. Other CCTV cameras were located on the outside of the building.

BREACH: ARTICLE 25 (1)(b)

Page 26...

The service had no psychologist. The social worker, who was on leave, had not been replaced.

BREACH: ARTICLE 26 (2)

Page 27...
First Floor: The records were in good condition and were stored appropriately. There was a policy on the storage of records.

Ground Floor: Records were well maintained. The most recent record of a food inspection was in 2007. Copies of a health and safety inspection and fire inspection were unavailable.

BREACH: ARTICLE 27(3)

Page 31...

First Floor: A complaints policy was available. The complaints procedure was displayed and leaflets available.

Ground Floor: There was no nominated complaints officer in the approved centre. No record of complaints was kept in the approved centre.

BREACH: ARTICLE 31 (4) AND ARTICLE 31 (6).

Page 35...

Ground Floor: Two time-out rooms were used when seclusion was necessary. Access to toilet and washing facilities was through a locked door. The recording of seclusion was of a high standard. There were no policies for staff training in relation to seclusion.

BREACH: SECTION 7.1 AND SECTION 10.1

Page 38...

There was no policy for training in relation to physical restraint training for staff. The recording of physical restraint was to a high standard.

BREACH: SECTION 7.1

Page 42...

Ground Floor: The files of three residents who had been admitted involuntarily for longer than three months and who were in receipt of medication were examined. In each case, Form 17 had been completed as THESE PATIENTS WERE RECEIVING MEDICATION WITHOUT CONSENT.

Page 44...

SERVICE USER INTERVIEWS
The Inspectorate spoke to TWO service users on the First Floor. Both stated that they were happy with the service they received and liked living in Carraig Mór. ONE expressed a preference however to be transferred to another unit.

OVERALL CONCLUSIONS
The First Floor of Carraig Mór was a continuing care unit and many residents were quite disabled. There was no rehabilitation team and while there were some activities available for the residents there were no integrated care plans. THE LACK OF INDIVIDUAL CLOTHING WAS SURPRISING and should be addressed in an imaginative way where there were practical difficulties in the provision of individual clothes. The unit requires one rehabilitation team, an overview of the requirements of the residents and a plan to relocate residents to more appropriate settings.

Residents on the Ground Floor had access to a reasonably full therapeutic programme of activities under the direction of two activities nurses. Residents had integrated care plans that were reviewed frequently, but there was no clear documented link between the care plan and activities. The Ground Floor was well maintained and clean. THE LACK OF A REHABILITATION TEAM WAS REGRETABLE PARTICULARLY IN VIEW OF THE FACT THAT A NUMBER OF RESIDENTS HAD BEEN RESIDENT FOR LONGER THAN SIX MONTHS.

RECOMMENDATIONS 2009

First Floor
1. Integrated care plans should be put in place immediately on the First Floor.
2. All six-monthly physical reviews should be completed
3. There should be no use of communal clothing. All residents should have individual clothing.

Ground Floor
4. Policies for staff training in relation to seclusion and physical restraint must be implemented.
5. The facilities used for seclusion must meet the requirements of the Rules.
6. Therapeutic activities must be linked to the individual care plan. The care plans or clinical files could be enhanced by recording the multidisciplinary team members present at team meetings.
7. The multidisciplinary team should include a psychologist.
8. A rehabilitation team should be appointed.

Acknowledging The Survivor by Grainne Humphrys

2010-06-08T03:22:00.000-07:00

I wrote this paper after the 'Making Thriving a Reality' conference that I was involved in organising in University College Cork (UCC). It came through me like a powerful force of nature. It was first posted on Beyond Meds.

Acknowledging The Survivor.
Exclusion, Trivialisation and Denial; Society’s Refusal to Acknowledge, Honour and Integrate the Trauma and Human Rights Violations experienced by the Psychiatric Survivor.

By Grainne Humphrys.

In looking at exclusion I would like to use the systemic lens. That which is excluded creates imbalance and so, I believe, as a society we become imbalanced at a collective level when we refuse to acknowledge difficult and painful truths within our society. Nowhere is this felt more keenly than by the psychiatric survivor. As a so-called ‘civilised’ society we collude in our collective trivialisation of both the violation of human rights of this marginalised minority group and the trauma, pain and silencing of this group. This I believe is our last great civil rights movement.

The ‘treatment’ of distressed individuals with labelling and drugging is simply not acknowledged publicly by society at large, and if it is, it is trivialised and skimmed over. It is given lip-service but it is, by no means, acknowledged at a profound level. In order for survivors to deeply heal they need deep acknowledgement. This has not yet occurred publicly by the mental health professionals (bar a few) or the general public (look, for example, at the recent acknowledgement of abuse survivors in the Ryan Report, and the watershed and paradigm shift that created. This was painful but healing).

The book ‘Crimes Against Our Humanity’ by Lars Martensen should be compulsory reading for all people going into the psychiatric profession as doctors and nurses – though reading it may raise many questions around whether they want to continue working in that system. What is happening on a daily basis in many hospitals all over Ireland is barbaric and a crime against our humanity and it is simply not acknowledged. Why is this? Why does it feel so threatening for people to acknowledge this truth? By not acknowledging it, we are adding fuel to an unimaginable well of pain and a raging fire of frustration and anger. Perhaps we are experiencing collective guilt at witnessing and knowing about such violations (however much we push this knowledge to the back of our minds, it taps into our own fear about survival). Through our turning a blind eye though, we render the psychiatric survivor invisible. Perhaps it just doesn’t feel safe to acknowledge their experience.

I would like to coin a new phrase; ‘lip-service-providers’. We are all lip-service-providers to the psychiatric survivor. I believe if the deep pain of survivors is truly acknowledged the house of cards will fall, the domino effect will be set in motion. It is not a pain many of us can identify with (though it does tap into our own pain of being human). Neither should it become a pain competition. The pain of the psychiatric survivor is, however, a very particular kind of pain; it is the pain of being silenced over and over again. It is the pain of being erased, tortured, silenced and rendered powerless. It is unimaginable for most of us, a violation of our basic human rights we take for granted. It is just not within our realm of experience and this too has to be acknowledged. In attempting to compare our pain we deny theirs and add fuel to a justified anger, we simply cannot compare or understand or fathom it, because it is not within our range of experience. It is another subtle way of denying their experience.

We want the psychiatric survivor’s raw pain to be packaged into a more easily digestible form, a socially acceptable and ‘appropriate’ way. It follows that we don’t allow the sheer depth and range of their experience. It is not because the survivor doesn’t have a voice, they do, but they are just not allowed to really use it in whatever way they so choose or wish to, or we will reject it. In effect, we cannot hold or contain their pain as a society or as a group. We collectively repress their experience due to our difficulty in facing and acknowledging this truth about our capacity for man’s inhumanity to man. We re-package their experience and present it in a ‘safe’ and ‘politically correct’ form, brushing over it and side-stepping past it. We are repelled by their anger, it upsets our civilised sensibilities. It infringes on our safe bubbles of imagined democracy that we have created.

At a deeper level it is our failure to acknowledge the original trauma before people experiencing distress and overwhelm enter the psychiatric services that hurts vulnerable people the most though. We hurt them three times; by ignoring the original trauma and then by labelling and drugging (in effect, denying) the trauma. We then hurt them again by not allowing them to express their anger at this violation of both their human rights and their right to their trauma. We label the layers and I believe it is that is what we feel most guilt around because we collude with psychiatry. We all know collectively deep down and subconsciously that there is no such thing as ‘chemical imbalance’ but trauma is taboo in our culture. This really taps into our victim/ perpetrator energy, our inherent fragility as humans, our fear of the unknown, our primal instincts. Our hiding behind a veneer of ‘respectability’ separates us from those experiencing crisis and overwhelm. We don’t want to look trauma in the eye. But acknowledging this trauma truth holds enormous power and depth of healing if we can do it. We do an enormous disservice to the psychiatric survivor in not revering and honouring their experience.

We need to search deep inside ourselves and our hearts as to why we feel so threatened by the psychiatric survivor’s pain. This is not an easy emotional task, it requires deep and difficult work. Survivor’s anger can be as much about not having their pain and experience acknowledged by us, as about the abuse of their human rights within the psychiatric system. This, to my mind, is the crux of why change and deep healing cannot occur because;
(1) We cannot fathom their pain
(2) We feel threatened in some way by this pain
(3) We deny it and put it into shadow

The facts are there, the recovery stories are there but we barely give the facts lip-service. We need to wake up to these facts. We get distracted by frameworks and models and politics and language and all the trappings of our minds. We have one set of rules for us and another for the psychiatric survivor. We skirt around the issues that really count (like acknowledging feelings). I believe this is because we are afraid of that depth of emotion. Indeed as a culture we trivialise our emotions and are afraid of them. We are governed by logic and rationale which moves us away from our hearts and the language of our souls.

Psychiatric survivors are not acknowledged. In fact, my feeling is that they are put into collective shadow and their pain is trivialised and even patronised. In order for us all to integrate as a society, we need to open our hearts and create a space for all those who have been excluded, put aside our own pain, to acknowledge their pain (that we cannot even begin to imagine because, quite simply, our human rights have never been violated to such an extent. This is a fact we need to acknowledge. This is our work, not the survivor’s). I believe our difficulty in acknowledging the survivor stems from our fear of acknowledging our collective perpetrator energy. The survivor is a precious reminder of our ability to deny our perpetrator and how blocking this aspect off, we prevent integration and deep healing. The survivor has much to teach us, their lessons are gifts, but like all difficult lessons, many of us turn away and resist the challenge for true growth.

Labelling, forced drugging, coercion, incarceration is a barbaric violation of what we hold most dear, our human rights, our right to be human. The fact that it is then called ‘care’ is a denial of what it really is. I stand in awe of people who survive this system. The way it is then glossed over and trivialised by people further adds to that denial. This actually fuels and reinforces anger (is it any wonder?) It excludes the survivor and their experience. It is a culture of covert abuse.

We should not pretend that we can understand or fathom this pain, be it lost years, chemical damage or unimaginable trauma, just as we cannot understand what it is to be in a concentration camp or to be a victim of war. We need to allow survivors their pain, we need to acknowledge it and bow down to honour it. This movement (of the soul) towards acknowledging a difficult and painful truth will ultimately heal us at a societal level and allow psychiatric survivors the journey home to their rightful place within society.

Waiting For My Clothes by Leanne O'Sullivan

2010-06-08T03:07:00.001-07:00

Leanne O'Sullivan is an Irish poet who comes from the Beara Peninsular in West Cork, which is where John's family live. She was only 21 when she wrote this brilliant poem. She writes so beautifully and poignantly and soulfully about what it is to be young.

Waiting For My Clothes

The day the doctors and nurses are having
their weekly patient interviews, I sit waiting
my turn outside the office, my back to the wall,
legs curled up under my chin, playing

with the hem of my white hospital gown.
They have taken everything they thought
should be taken - my clothes, my books
my music, as if being stripped of these

were part of the cure, like removing the sheath
from a blade that has slaughtered.
They said, Wait a few days, and if you're good
you can have your things back. They'd taken

my journal, my word made flesh, and I think
of those doctors knowing me naked
holding me by my spine, two fingers
under my neck, the way you would hold a baby,

taking my soul from between my ribs
and leafing through the pages of my thoughts,
as if they were reading my palms,
and my name beneath them like a confession,

owning this girl, claiming this world
of blackness and lightness and death
and birth. It lies in their hands like a life-line,
and I feel myself fall open or apart.

They hear my voice as they read
and think, Who is this girl that is speaking?
I know the end, she tells them.
It is the last line, both source and closing.

It is what oceans sing to, how the sun moves,
a place for the map-maker to begin.
Behind the door, nothing is said.
Like dreams, my clothes come out of their boxes.

The Passion of The Christ

2010-06-08T01:56:00.000-07:00

The film that made a big emotional impact on John and informed the language of his breakthrough experience, which later became interrupted by the mental health services.

" Self-identification with archetypal (religious) figures can be a common component of a fragmentation crisis. Unfortunately, they tend to be interpreted literally instead of symbolically or metaphorically." Tessa Manning

Swimming Down Deep To Before Time Began

2010-06-08T01:31:00.000-07:00

From 'The Ordinary House of Love' By Theo Dorgan

The night I sank into your troubled eyes
I was watching my words,
I was watching my step
While you were swimming deep into my heart,
Gently, disturbing nothing
As the soft rain hung fringes on the trees

What depths we can sometimes reach,
In unremarkable talk,
In an ordinary caress
Sounding truths laid deeper than we know,
Gently, disturbing nothing
Like people who have been talking for centuries.

If I close my eyes I can feel my breath
As the pain eases out,
As the words ease out,
Hesitant, night-swimming fish;
Gently, disturbing nothing,
Sentences schooling to an unexpected thought:

In Lake Baikal there are boneless fish,
They melt in the shallows,
They melt in the air.
What lives they must lead there in the dark,
Gently, disturbing nothing,
Lives at an unexpected depth, like ours tonight.

John draws Strength from the story of Job

2010-06-08T01:23:00.000-07:00

Suffering is the hardest problem to understand. It is a puzzle. Think of the *Lord Jesus on the cross. His experience was terrible. He had the most awful:
· Physical suffering;
· Mental pain and despair;
· Spiritual sense of being alone. (Spiritual means anything to do with the things of God.)
Jesus used the same word as millions of other people. He cried out: ‘My God, Why...?’
Job had an awful problem. But first, there is something that we must understand.
Suffering brings many problems. They can be complicated. Suffering is a part of human experience. Life can be full of pain and despair. The Book of Job does not give easy, clear answers. It:
· shows the problem as it really is.
· gives an honest record of the sufferer’s doubts.
· removes some common ideas about suffering. (One of these is that suffering is a punishment for *sin.)
· suggests the right attitude about trouble and pain.
So, the Book of Job has a very important message. It is a great literary work too. Martin Luther (1483-1546 *AD) described it. He said that it was the most excellent Bible book. It was a Bible book of best quality too.
People often speak about suffering in a certain way. They say that they do not deserve it. This kind of suffering often brings awful despair. At these times, Job’s bad experience can help them. It has been like this in each century.
Let us meet this man in despair. Notice some great truths. They appear from his awful experience.

Job's Three Friends

2010-06-08T01:20:00.000-07:00

The book of Job is John's favourite story in the Bible. Here is some commentary on Job.

Job had three friends. Their names were:
· Eliphaz, who belonged to the people called Temanites;
· Bildad, who belonged to the people called Shuhites;
· Zophar, who belonged to the people called Naamathites.
These men heard about Job’s troubles. So, they left their homes. They agreed to go to Job. Then, they would sympathise with Job. And they would comfort him. But when the three friends saw Job, they could not even recognise him. They cried out. They tore their clothes. They put dust on their heads. For a whole week, they sat with Job. They sat on the ground, even during the night. And they said nothing to him. They saw that Job was suffering greatly. So, they were silent.

The Killers - All These Things That I've Done

2010-06-07T19:00:00.000-07:00

When there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son?
One more son?
If you can hold on
If you can hold on
Hold on ...

I wanna stand up, I wanna let go
You know, you know, no, you don't, you don't
I wanna shine on in the hearts of man
I wanna mean it from the back of my broken hand

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I'm so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Help me out
Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out

And when there's nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son
These changes, ain't changing me
The cold-hearted boy I used to be

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier
I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I have done
All these things that I have done
~ Time. True. Hearts. ~
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

Muse - Uprising

2010-06-07T18:52:00.001-07:00

Paranoia is in bloom,
The PR transmissions will resume,
They'll try to push drugs to keep us all dumbed down,
And hope that we will never see the truth around,
SO COME ON!

Another promise, another scene,
Another package to keep us trapped in greed,
With all the green belts wrapped around our minds,
And endless red tape to keep the truth confined,
SO COME ON!

They will not force us,
They will stop degrading us,
They will not control us,
And we will be victorious!

SO COME ON!

Interchanging mind-control,
Come, let the revolution take its toll,
If you could flick a switch and open your third eye,
You'd see that we should never be afraid to die,
SO COME ON!

Rise up and take the power back,
It's time that the fat cats had a heart attack,
You know that their time's coming to an end,
We have to unify and watch our flag ascend!
SO COME ON!

They will not force us,
They will stop degrading us,
They will not control us,
And we will be victorious!

SO COME ON!

OI! OI! OI! OI!

OI! OI! OI! OI!

OI! OI! OI! OI!

They will not force us,
They will stop degrading us,
They will not control us,
And we will be victorious!
SO COME ON!

OI! OI! OI! OI!

Posts from Old Friends

2010-06-07T18:38:00.000-07:00

These are posts from old friends and people who knew John in the past, though one or two are old friends of mine. These posts were sent to the Facebook Group wall I created for John. I was very moved by them.

Hi Grainne, My name is Justin Smith, Ive known John nearly all my life and he is one of the best guys you would ever come across. My brother was best friends with him growing up and now suffers from the same illness. I would like you to send him my love. If I knew where he was then I would have visited. He was just up and gone one day. my number is 086-7966400 can you give it to him for me. I would really appreciate it if you could and if John is ever stuck for a place to stay he is always welcome back in west cork. Regards Justin Smith

Hiya Grainne I first met John when I was about 14, he was in fact one of the first guys I ever snogged and fancied!! I thought at the time he was an intense character. I'm sad to read that he has been sectioned. It's not good. I completely understand your motivation for setting up this group. I am working in a homeless shelter in Brighton now and work with many young men who suffer from various mental health problems (as well as many other problems) and the reality like you mentioned is that without help they can and do end up living on the streets. John is a lucky guy to have someone like you in his life. I shouldn't think he even remembers me as it was so so long ago but please do send him my best. Mary xx
Mary Leonard

Hey...I knew John on a very basic social level...as in Friday nights, clubnights etc.didn't ever know him at all really...we'd pass eachother on the street and say hi..that's about it..saw this group...didn't recognise him until about the second last pic. Grainne...stick by him and fair fucks to you for doing that so far....the world needs to know how warped this system is...
Charlie Nagle

John is suffering our mistrust and living with our shame. Society tends to bury what it doesn't like to face.
Abuse and missuse are shielded in the dark. Thanks Grainne for bringing some light to John.
Jason Walsh.

this is an incredibly important group and i want to thank mike from the very bottom of my soul for bringing it to my attention. the challenges, the support, the love, the very existance these kinds of realities should and must be part of a global consciousness.
grainne, i am in awe of your strength and compassion and perseverence in the face of so many seemingly unscalable fronts, you are truly an inspiration in a world that is looking for escape and distraction and the easy road.
i'm not sure anyone can truly understand the commitment and internal resources it takes for both the individual who is suffering and those around them who love them, to face each and every day anew and persevere with love and strenth and hope, and you do it, as far too many people have to do it, often alone, in a society that seems to offer few alternatives.
thank you for creating this page, thank you for not taking the easy option, thank you for wanting to make the world a better place.you already have.x
Leah Cronin

Hey I am an old friend of John and Andrews and i just wanted to say thanks for sharing all of this. I had no idea where John was or how he is getting on, Face book is a powerfull tool of communication fair play for been brave enough to put it all out there to the public, hopefully it will bring awareness to enough people to come up with a new approach to mental health.
My own brother was in the mental health system and has been given good support to lead a normal a life as possible with minimal medication in the community, Dr Braken in Bantry hospital was his Doctor. I cant believe he is a dad and i hadnt heard about it! his boy is the image of him, That cheeky grin! Keep up the good work!
Maria Collard